It's Raining!!!

This is what our baby Guineas (keets) look like now.

This is what they will look like fully feathered and mature.

Not the the most beautiful bird at first glance  but the appeal, for me at least, is in their character and personality rather than their asthetics.They are very high strung, almost paranoid little creatures,moving in waves all together at the slightest sound/change in air pressure/whatever that happens in the general vacinity of them. They are excellent flyers, preferring to roost in the tops of trees some 30-40 feet in the air rather than on the ground.They are monagamous,mating til death do us part-literally.They can be trained to be tame and will follow you like a dog, and if they become seperated from you/your property often times they will  travel great distances to return home, time and again. They alert the entire neighborhood if a car pulls into your driveway and will attack a snake or other predator in a moments notice to protect their territory. They are excellent pest control,preferring to dine on ticks and fleas and inumerous other bugs even rodents ALL DAY-EVERY DAY. Now that makes them BEAUTIFUL in my eyes.

So we finally got rain. No it didn't fall from the heavens in torrents, raging like an angry assailant against the earth, but rather fell softly and insistantly like it had a purpose and only a short time to serve it. Small drops, but lots of them followed by a brief lightening storm and some impressive thunder . All thats left now is damp,rich smelling earth, a misty drizzle and and the sound of thunder rolling gently away in the distance. it wasn't the "four horseman thundering across the heavens" thunderstorm I had hoped for ,and Edd wasn't here to enjoy it with me, but it was still satifying. The metal sheeting roof we built over the henhouse served it's purpose and the girls are dry and warm. The gardens got a decent drenching  I am sure will help bring forth some new growth I didn't see at dusk today when I checked for weeds. The duck pond and watering areas got refreshed and I hear frogs and crickets singing and humming in the woods around us. There will be tasty bugs for the hens in the morning.

I spent the day collecting my keets, running Kieren to the Optometrist(no glasses needed-excellent vision)and homeschooling the kids. I worked the gardens and fed the animals and collected the eggs. I did some laundry, I cooked dinner & I washed some dishes and I am still not done,but it's ok, I don't mind. I asked for this, no, I wanted this. I am loving this.

Owyn gave me a crown to wear today. She said it was because I was the best Mommy ever. I asked,"even though I ground you, and yell sometimes or punish you for something?". She looked at me as if I were  speaking a language she didn't understand, smiled and said," of course mommy-that's your job-to teach us and correct us when we're wrong".

Out of the mouths of babes. She's going to be 7 May 14th and her soul is so old it's drawing SS benefits already. That put a smile on my lips and tugged at my heart just a lttle too.

She has no idea how much THEY are teaching ME..

Good Googley-Moogley, the Guinneas are here!!

  THE QUEST FOR GUINNEAS IS OVER!!!

                                     Yes, you read me correctly! Tomorrow morning I pick up my long sought after guinnea keets-just 10 days old. I am- to say the least-ECSTATIC over this most wonderful news. Those of you following know that I have been on a mad quest to find guinnea keets in groups of less than 25 (the typical order size from most distributors). Today I located a woman locally who hatched 20 guinnea keets and is selling them for $2.50 each and is willing to sell me pairs of 2-so we are getting 6. I was informed that we MUST get them in pairs because they mate for life, how romantic!! I am even more in love with them now than I was before. I will post pics ASAP of our new additions to the flock. I am also placing an order for another 50 chickens. We are getting Black Minorcans,Cocchins,My beloved's PHOENIX, Speckled Sussex,and Hamburgs. The kids and I spent the day building in preparation for the growing flock.I found a guy giving away 2 outdoor rabbit hutches and  I am on the list for them if the lady who called 1st doen't pick 'em up. This is great news since the first of our 6 bunnies will be coming home in 2 weeks and will require accomodations.I also found a huge birdcage(think old victorian wrought iron) for my lil bantam rooster to live in  IN THE HOUSE. Yes, in the house. He will be my house chicken. No more deaths among the peeps,the sicilian buttercups were cursed it seemed,doomed to die a mysterious death, one a day ,but their unlucky streak has broken and the remaining 5 are alive and well and thriving.
                                        Homeschooling is coming along nicely, kids are all very productive together, even with Dawson acting as our 4th. We take frequent breaks and pepper a lil house/yard work in for exercise. We have decided to go off the grid next year and return to traditional homeschooling,leaving the virtual school academy behind us. It has been an interesting experience, but somehow less like homeschool, more like boot camp and we are just not that tight assed about things.
                                        Layla's dance is just 3 weeks away and her dress is gorgeous. Edd found it(he said I HAD to type that or he would pout), but he really did. Right size and everything, it is PERFECT and she LOVES IT!! A short lil number the deep,vibrant color of concord grapes bathed in sunlight. She looks beautiful. I am so proud, a lil nervous, but so proud. She is growing up-she has a NON-boyfriend and a couple of NON dates under her belt and I struggle to suppress the urge to shove her in a closet, bound and gagged until she is 30-maybe 35. I know-relax, I am trying okay?  Kieren now has a date for a dance too. Only the girl asked him! She's Miss Putnam County, our fairground Princess. She is cute with a lil upturned nose and Kieren is excited. I am again nervous ,but proud and happy for him. I realize they need the affection and approval of someone other than me to grow as individuals, this knowledge does not however ease my butterflies over the agonizing realization that they are growing up & will one day want to leave home and get married and, and, and... I gotta stop this, I will never get to sleep thinking this way.
                                 Kieren drove the truck today for abut 8 blocks and he drove very well in fact. He said afterwards he was sweating like the heater was on and felt totally drained from the adrenaline rush but he enjoyed it, and more importantly he LOOKED calm & in control. My little man, he's growing up too & I like where he's going. Some days the road is bumpier than I would prefer but the direction in on track and that's what matters,right?
                                 I'm off to  pick up my Edd from work, I missed him today. More than usual, maybe it's the weather-every morning looks like rain, even smells of rain. The air heavy with the promise of raindrops, tight little pellets of warm compressed water molecules, pelting the rooftop almost painfully hard and sending the chickens scurring for cover. Then...nothing. Alot of tension in that scenario, day after day. It looks like a long, hot, sticky summer. Today was 87 in the shade with no breeze whatsoever, and it is APRIL. August will be sweltering at this rate. When Edd gets his pell check we are installing the pool and a fence. The kids will be miserable with out it, gas is too expensive to drive to town everyday to swim. The gardens are growing up so quickly I can barely blog before they have changed again. The corn is getting tall and the beans are winding around the stalks and flowering. The brussel sprouts are about 3 inches tall and sturdy- I believe we will have a good crop-enough to freeze for fall. At least 12 tomatoe plants are thriving, each a different heirloom variety,and the okra (always a great grower-no matter the conditions) is promising to yield early.
                                   It has been a good day, I enjoyed working along side the children and getting things accomplished together. I like knowing they are learning important things about self sufficiency and survival and I pray they remember them as they get older, as I did. I am still learning though. Today for instance I learned to make seed strips. Using biodegradable materials you can make strips of seeds to wrap around a tissue tube to store for planting season-then u just lie the strip down on the turned earth, cover ,water and Voila! , planting done. Will post more on this with photos tomorrow eve. Sleep well, dream pleasantly. The world is your oyster.
                                     
                                     
                                 

Starry Skies....

                                                     Today was a good day to die.

                        Isn't that how the Native American  Indian Chief always clarified the quality of one day from another in the old spaghetti westerns of yore?? Well, as days go, it would have been a beautiful day to qualify as the Last Day. The weather was gorgeous, a little hint of a potential rainstorm late morning caused me to bristle with excitement, but that fizzled into a fragrant but dry afternoon full of promise. Clear skies ,more a pale crisp blue than a bright blue, filled with huge puffy "cotton ball" clouds-the ones you can lay on your back and watch for hours guessing the shapes they take before they stretch into wisps and re-form elsewhere? Yea those skies,flat-on-your-back-in-a-wheatfiled-somewhere-movie skies.

                       Up before dawn to take Edd to the public bustop at the Buzzmart (yes, it's a 90 minute ride and he gets there an hour too early) but it's $.50 and gas is expensive,soooo he rides. When I got home Kieren and Dawson were still snoring peacefully in the tent outside and Layla & owyn were doing the same inside so I set about my chores for the morning. I fed and watered and released all the animals from their night housing and filled the wateres and ponds and turned on the sprinklers. I made expresso, and sipped a triple with 1 sugar and 1 cream,2 ice cubes while I watched the sprinklers transfixed. Something about the repetitive  nature of the  sprinklers is very  relaxing to me, it slips me out of focus ever so briefly and lets my mind drift, with no particular thoughts clinging to it.
                         After a brief pause to enjoy the mind numbing effects of the sprinklers(redneck narcotics??LOL) i raked about an acre of leaves to fill the 3 sided composter near the largest garden(this was built from scavenged wood pallets we found dumpster diving) and turned off sprinklers and woke the kids. I made them all cinnamon taost and cold milk for breakfast and we spent the next 4 hrs (9-1pm) homeschooling. Dawson stays with us about 5 outta 7 days and now homeschools with us as well. He is doing very well and we are proud of him-he fits in well here and seems very happy.
                          Layla & Kieren had dental appointments for cleanings in town and Layla has her dog walking job to do each day, so into town we went after classwork was done. NO CAVATIES and good brusher awards!! yay! Couldn't be happier, so when they asked to move the tents away from the house and sleep in the way way back of the property I said yes, w/o hesitation. They are ready. yes, it is scary but thats 1/2 the fun. We bought hot dogs and Edd and I wittled sticks for skewering and off we set to dig a pit and set a fire. Th  kids and i worked togetehr to start the fire w/o fules or briquettes and it worked out great. in less than 15 minutes we were working our wienies onto our spears and laughing at the obscenity of it all the while. Smores followed and then Edd and I were politely ejected from the sacred circle of  their fire and sent home. Apparently we are too old for what happens next.. LOL..
                         It was refreshing to watch them work together with little or no help from us, to clear the area and set up the tents and prepare the fire pit. They are a fine little team. I can hear them now whispering,punctuating the still night with peals of laughter & girlish giggles. Before I left their lil campsiteI stood beside their tents and looked up at the most perfect starry sky I have seen in ages.clear as far as you could see and dotted with stars bright and twinkling. In a flash I was 10 yrs old and lying under the giant magnolia tree in my Grandmas front yard with just my quilt and my dumbo pillow looking up into that inky vastness and I too wanted to camp out! I glanced at Edd and he nodded,"yes, we can camp out next time"-that's what his smile said. I asked to be sure," can we sleep out here next time? and in the fall with just our sleeping bags?"  he nodded and smiled even bigger. God I love my husband! I know when I close my eyes tonite I am going to think of that starry sky, of the soothing sounds of the darkness wrapping around me like cozy blanket and lifting me upwards until I am weightless among them. So beautiful. Yes, today was about as perfect as any imperfect day could be in an imperfect universe. I feel loved, I feel I have loved, I feel complete. Last breath, no regrets, thank you LORD -complete.

                                                                      Goodnight,walk outside, turnoff the lights and look up. close your eyes, stretch out your arms and float with the stars. Neighbors be damned. It's a starry night somewhere. Breathe it in. be blessed.

Monkey Business

                                                   MONKEY BREAD
 An Easter Morning tradition at our house, begun back when Layla (our eldest) was just a wee lil Daisy scout and learned to make it @ Girl Scout camp. It soon became a fave but was so rich and buttery we designated it only for special occasions, heres our recipe:
       casserole dish or bundt cake pan(bakes same either way-just changes shape)
       3-5 cans instant biscuits(your baking dish decides amt needed)
       1 1/2 sticks butter (melted-save a cube to butter pan)
     2cups maple syrup(ms. butterworths will do)
     1/2 cup chopped nuts
     1/4 cup cinnamon sugar mixture.
pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. grease pan you have chosen and open biscuits. one at a time tear chunks out of pre-made biscuits and dip into butter(coating liberally-this is no time to get squemish about calories folks) and line pan. drizzle with a bit of syrup and sprinkle with cinnamon sugar and continue stacking biscuit chunks in this manner until pan is full. Leave a lil room at top for more syrup and expansion.  drizzle with remaining syrup, sprinkle with last of cinnamon sugar and add nuts(optional) place in oven for approx 17 minutes(up to 23 min) until slightly browned and bubbling at edges. remove and seve immediatley!  recommend and ice cold glass of MILK with this it is heaven.

So, That is how we start our Easter morning. At least thats how WE start it after I get up and feed everything and make coffee and water all the gardens and enjoy a quiet ,gentle sunrise all to myself. Yes, I am very selfish with my mornings. I do not even like sharing them with Edd. This is the time of day I prepare myself for whats to come,sorta get my battle plans in order. Remind myself what I am fighting this fight called LIFE for. The sunrise and the cardinals on my maple tree outback and the tranquility and peacefullness that this hour each day provides for my sanity are a stingy,selfish pleasure I happily get out of bed for at dawn. I walk the property and marvel at what I see. The tiny stalks of corn that are struggling to shake off the last of the dirt covering them to spring forth in full bloom. They weren't there last night when I watered, I looked. The way the Bantams are all lined up on their roosting poles ,every other one facing the opposite way as if they are gossiping to their neighbor,chittering softly so I cannot hear this private converstion. The way the sunlight streams perfectly into the dining room at about 6:45 am  making it literally illuminate like there are 1000 candles all glowing at once. There is a spot at the back of the property, it's nothing special to look at any other time of the day, but at 7am it is positively heavenly. I can't put my finger on WHY, but right at that moment,right in that spot I feel very close to GOD and this earth I am building upon.So, that's where I was this morning, as the light began to glow over the treetops, and the sound of the sprinklers and the the soft "barking" of the ducks in the background signaled morning was here ,I stood,perfectly still-LISTENING,and giving thanks for all that I have & praying for my friends and family and even strangers I briefly met who may require a little extra faith today. I watched thru the haze of morning fog as the sunlight chased away the shadows and revealed the woods beyond my spot and I was GRATEFUL. This I do EVERY morning, with out fail. Until now it was my private ritual,sacred in that secrecy somehow. But this morning I realized that sharing might be what it's all about.
                  On this day THE BIBLE tells us that CHRIST ROSE. He walked again and for his sacrifice 3 days prior we are saved. No matter what you believe, what faith you claim as your doctrine,those are powerful words that beckon you STOP and CONSIDER. Please, today if no other,STOP-give thanks for your life-tho it may not be the one materially you wanted-it is life and you are able to LIVE IT, if you so choose. Grasp that, make it your life raft if you will. We are poor. Financially that is, but we are beyond wealthy in our hearts and souls.We have that which we need and when we are grateful sometimes we are given that which we want too & it is even better then for the wait. 

                                               HAPPY EASTER

Our "tribe" w/ their friends

ft. row: Dawson, Owyn,Kieren

Back: Chelsea,Layla

SUNDAY MORNINGS!!

 This is what I saw as I stood on my back porch Sunday morning, Edd's arms around my waist ,hot coffee steaming in my fave mug,the sound of baby chicks peeping in the background. pretty isn't she? Her mate had just flown back to their nest with more bedding materials when Edd handed me the camera. We got a few glorious minutes (about 45) sans children to enjoy the solituted of our little Eden ,while they slept off the riotous game of "LIFE" from the nite before. Apparently it went on until well after 2 am, I went to bed before midnite to the squeals of laughter and good natured ribbing.

                                                The kids finally started to wake around 11 AM, so I made cinnamon toast and market bacon for them and we started work on the chicken coop renovations. Today was the BIG DAY for the Bantams(mini chickens),today they go outside to stay. Edd and I got started on removing the tin roof so that additions could be added to extend it out further to cover the Bantams coop. Bantams fully grown take up 1/10th the room of a full sized chicken so their living space is considerably smaller but must be twice as secure due their dimunitive size. Kieren & Dawson picked up the yard and sorted the recycling while we did this and Layla baked some delicious spicy chocolate cupcakes for later. Dawson decided to help with renovations and ended up getting "cooped up" himself.  After putting in a good 5 hrs of solid work, the coop almost done, Edd and the 3 youngest children decided to make "skateboards" out of our scraps of wood. This was pretty damned creative and entertaining as well. I have been very impressed the past several weeks watching the children develop playthhings and activities with their imaginations instead of store bought items. Continued proof that we have made the right choices thus far.

 Our treat for such hard work was home made ice cream from the antique ice cream crank we own and Layla's spicy chocolate cupcakes.Everyone too a turn cranking and by the time our elbows were ready to snap off and the drooling had begun from the rich vanilla bean scent in the air, it was ready! Oh my gosh, it tasted just like I remembered from my childhood. The moment the first bit melted onto my tongue I  could hear my Grandfather calling myself and the cousins to," grab a bowl and a spoon before it melts!".  This is what life is supposed to be like,yes-Edd worked hard all day on his day off-but he didn't mind. He was satisfied at the end of the day. Theres a difference in working all day to get a paycheck and working all day to accomplish something.

                                                           The garden is doing so well! I posted a picture of our first tiny tomato & our Millpa (corn & bean combo technique. Chickens are stalking it but haven't figured out how to get in. LOL.. undoubtedly they will -but that is another day, another drama. On a side note, Ead some very valuable info today on building baled straw homes w/ living roofs. A two story, 3500 SF home would only cost around $6000 and be energy efficient and eco friendly as well as attractive. You can check out this info  in THE NEW PIONEER MAGAZINE. Lots of info on becoming self-sufficient & minimizing to maximize. Highly recommend it.

                                                            Purchased 6 Sicilian Buttercups last week & lost one yesterday. it was sad and admittedly made me a lil sullen for awhile-but inevitably some will be lost. Edd buried it on the fence line next to the duck I murdered and the peep hank killed. Starting a cemetary here, I swear. Wednesday/Thursday we will be making our final chicken order this season- 50 total-Phoenix,Lakenvelder and Cocchins.Chick season will be over in 2 weeks and I am still trying to get Edd his rooster he so adamently wanted. Today I must fell at least 2 more trees for posts for the additions we will have to build to house them all. Everyone is comfy now, but as they grow (and they do-rapidly) they will get crowded and fight,resulting in injury and death which tho, sad is a greater financial loss to us than emotional. I still don't have the money for the electric bill, but I got an extension til May 13th so I got time to figure that out. Right now I got food for a month in the pantry, a full tank of gas, beautiful children that I am proud of ,a husband who adores me and good friends to uplift me and remind why I am here. God is good, Life can be very good if you just slow down,re-evaluate your WANTS versus your NEEDS and let that list be your guide. Your wants get simpler as your needs get met. 

<---BEFORE ADDITIONS

AFTER ADDITIONS-->

now there is room for bunnies under the ledge on the right and the older hens have a roosting area to themselves on the left. Ducks go down below and laying boxes on the top left(hinged door).ALL FREE!

T E A M W O R K

                                                       Today was a very good day.

It was filled with it's usual drama (came home from Easter festival to find to half dead hens wrapped up in a fishing net)-they're ok, we saved them together, the usual hard work (we felled 2 15-18 ft tall maple trees with a HAND saw and cut them into fence posts with the same saw-then built the fence) and the usual laughter/good memories and unforgetttable one liners. I am exhausted, the kind of deep muscular exhaustion you assume rail workers from the old west felt. Everything hurts. But it feels GOOD. As I stood outside this morning with Edd, watching the Brahmas explore the "play pen" we built them in the early light of the morning, the dogs (chico & hank specifically) began to chase each other. We watched them , mesmerized by the agile movements and deft deflections at each curve and turn. They were HAPPY. Edd said so. Actually he said,"everyones happier out here baby". He's right, it's obvious, even the teenager laughs more now.

                            We attended the neighborhood Easter festival this morning and I gotta admit it was nice. Comfortable and totally unpretentious. Owyn won the three legged race and the sack race and the raffle. She was festooned with ribbons and prizes and a smile that spread from ear to ear ALL DAY LONG!  The older children spent the morning gorging on the largest cotton candy tifts I have ever seen and drinking more soda than they've been allowed to have all year so far!! It was great to hear the kids talking about the egg hunt and Owyn's squeals that," I have 35 eggs!!".

                             We left to build fences and plant corn and thats exactly what the kids and I did. but first we had to rescue the pullets. grace and java had gotten stuck in a fishing net that was left near the porch and were close to death when we arrived home. The kids saw them immediately when they got out of the truck and we  all lept into action. I was so proud of them all. kieren ran into the house for fresh water and Dawson got some scissors, while Layla knelt with me on the ground and began to untangle the silly girls from their trap. Grace went limp and Dawson quikly cut the net(it was his and he never hesitated) and took her from me with Kieren to the "infirmary" to rehydrate her. They are fine. I repaired the net and all is well.

                               Edd had to work at 11 so the children and I armed with a handsaw and some basic tools(hammers,pliers) felled 2  maple trees, each approximately 15-18 ft tall, then cut them into fence posts and sunk them into the ground and built a fence. The garden safe from hens and rabbits we hoed rows and planted Cherokee corn and cukes and mixed bell peppers and carrots. Tomorrow we will transplant the brussel sprouts we started in pots into this garden and for a day or two I will be content.  I am extremely proud of the kids today. They worked in the hot sun for over 5 hrs today to get our garden fenced and protected from foraging critters. It wasn't easy, it was frought with bitching and perils (Dawson got glass in his foot, I skewered my big toe with a post hole digger,Kieren got a "fencepost" dropped on his toe) but it got done and it was done as a family,TOGETHER.  I am typing this blog and listening in an off hand way to my husband playing LIFE with the kids and the peeps chirping gently in the background and I am happy. I stood outside a minute or two before I started this blog and the air is heavy with the smell of rain. I am anticipating waking to the sound of it drumming on my metal roof in the morning so I can snuggle into Edd's chest and drift back into my dreams with the fragrance of lilacs trailing close behind. I don't know what tomorrow witll bring, but I know now more than ever that no matter what it is we will face it together. A unified front, working for the same goal,like it or not, WE WILL MAKE IT. ZOMBIES BE DAMNED!!!

                              I have great kids.  They are respectful and compassionate and more like me everyday. They have an amazing step father ,who just happens to be an excellent husband too. I am broke. I haven't worked in 3 weeks and have no idea how I will pay the electric bill on Tuesday,and thats OKAY. It will work out,I know it will because it is not my priority. We could live out here with out electricity just fine. As long as I have them here with me, theres nothing I couldn't manage. On that note, I better get the rainbarrel ready for the storm-we may need it to shower next week! LOL

                                                   Night-night ya'll. My pillow is calling me.

BACON WAFFLES and SPRING FORMALS

Mmmmmmm, bacon waffles. Seriously you HAFTA try them before you knock 'em. Heres a picture of ours, the recipe will follow it. use good quality bacon,Edd likes applewood smoked. These were his "brain child" for breakfast & admittedly I was skeptical but they are pretty tasty. Like mine with a couple over easy eggs on top instead of syrup. I am not a "sweets person" in the AM.

Light and Crispy Waffles w/bacon:

2 eggs (seperate yolks & whites)

2 cups milk

2 cups all purpose flour

1 tbsp baking POWDER

1/2 tsp salt

1/3 cup oil ( i use canola)

1/4-1/2 lb good bacon

pre-heat waffle iron. cook bacon and drain on paper towels. Put all ingredients EXCEPT egg WHITES in large mixing bowl. beat on low until moistened increase to medium until smooth. Beat egg whites in GLASS or METAL bowl until stiff peaks appear. gently fold into batter with pastry spatula.   spray waffle iron w/ nonstick cooking spray and pour 3/4 cup batter into waffle iron criss cross bacon strips over top and close iron until steam no longer escapes. Open and enjoy! makes approx 5 belgian waffles.

Worked hard again today-finger are swollen and joints are killing me. All of them not just a few specific ones-but it feels so good. food tastes better, air smells crisper and it all seems worth it.  I announced today tha I will be semi retiring from tattooing. It wasn't received well, but my faithful friends/clients know I will always be available to them. I just feel I am being pulled in a new direction now-a new adventure awaits me and I must follow this new path to the end.

layla is going on her first "DATE" next month, the sSpring Formal. She's going with Dawsons brother who is a very nice ,shy young man (means he's a mauler for sure  LOL) We are in the frenzy of finding the right dress, and shoes and accessories and as stressful as it is I am so very excited for her. I think she is beautiful and quirky and everything I would want in a girlfriend if I was a 15 yr old boy. She is funny and talented and oh so scary smart some times. I don't always tell her enough, I am too busy pushing her and trying to pull her into focus. She's a day dreamer and sometimes that maddens me to the point of screaming. But I had an epiphany today of sorts. I love her that way. I wouldn't want to change that so much- I just get scared that she'll fall between the cracks and never be able to do all the things she wants if she doesn't come down to earth once in awhile. But today I realized it's that loftiness, that carefree attitude of hers that just may make her dreams her reality. She's a my baby girl. I love her. I want whats best for her and I think thats having me off her back a little. Not much-just a little. So we look for hours at dresses and I see her blush while she claims ,"this is NOT a date Mom", I see the wistful way she peruses the catalogs for shoes and hairstyles and my heart flutters. I wanna protect her from the heart ache this boy could bring, I wanna lock her away in a closet until the onset of menopause, while at the same time I wanna hug her and go shopping and make this wonderful. Where are the handbooks on these things when they are born?  I am watching her become a strong, beautiful young woman and if that is going to happen successfully I know I have to step aside  just a little and be more listener than lecturer. I am learning to hold my tongue. I am not very good at it ,YET, but I will practice -for her. I love you LAYLA.

YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

Good Neighbors

                                      I am tired. Not just tired, but fall into bed face first and wake up at the wrong end in the morning TIRED. Made a new friend today,Jeff. great guy, he specializes in show bunnies. His rabbits are divine. He is a friend of my friend Giavanna. He's been "farm trash" his whole life. My tag, he just said it fit him too so we will share it I guess. He has a beautiful piece of property with a 2 acre lake of cool fresh water. We bartered some meat for his tiller for a couple days to plow up some garden areas on our property. Tilled til my hands blistered and tilled just a bit more after that. Looks great, all that rich dark soil practically begging for me to plant in it. Love the way fresh earth smells when it's turned. Kids do too. caught Owyn and Dawson grabing big handfuls and putting it to their faces and inhaling the damp smell like it was a fine wine.  Tomorrow we are going to weed Jeff's garden for some wire fencing(the whole family will do this) and clean his rabbit barn for tubs of poo (for fertilizer) and a breeding pair of rabbits(for meat). Thats how things work in the country. I know theres barter elsewhere, but it just doesn't seem to work as well as it does here.Here it is not only alive and well but thriving as a main source of commerce amongst like minded individuals seeking independence from  commercialized living.People here are  skilled.  They know things and how to DO things most city people take for granted.
                    Jeff has a friend who has a whole pantry full of home brewed wine and micro brewed beer and meade. No chemicals and this stuff aint weak ya'll. Now if you wanna lil drink but moneys tight you can trade for a bottle or a 6 pk or more and everyones happy and no one had to skip a water bill pymt to compliment dinner. I needed wire and rabbits and a tiller. mr. jeff needs able bodied labor. Deal-we are all happy and it cost us nothing, really. We just did what good neighbors are supposed to do and rewarded each similarly. No hard feelings, no feeling shafted or cheated. You got what you wanted/needed, so did I. Edd got to use his Machete today and  even chased away a huge black snake that Layla almost stepped on. No we didn't kill it. Thats bad luck-black snakes are good for your garden, they keep out other snakes and vermin as well as bugs. Got about 30 sweet yellow corn plants in Saturday as well as Okra and heirloom tomato plants. Got about 15 watermelon plants in and  few peppers. Wednesday we will plant  close to a hundred plants and  twice that in seeds,fence it all in so the chickens and rabbitts don't eat it first. I need to go to bed, tmrw comes too fast lately and the children all have to go to public school to test tmrw morning early. Good night all. will post pics tmrw.

Yes! That IS a chicken in my hair...

This is blog is sorta frivolous tonite. The last couple days have been stressful. Waiting for the "other shoe to drop" on the GOVT. FREEZE nonesense. We are not military but I rely on Military personel for about 90% of my income. So if they make no $$ then I make no $$. My truck has been in the shop, presumably mounting a bill I will be forced into low budget prostitution to pay for & instead of freakin out I went fishing and I made omelets for dinner. So this blog is to give you a closer look at my family. My reasons for making these lifestyle changes,for moving back to the country to begin with. So please read, enjoy and follow.

Yes! that is a chicken under my hair. His name is Lucky. You many remember him from one of my 1st  three blogs-he is the survivor of the "HANK" attack-hence the name LUCKY. He is sitting on the back of my neck pecking and nesting in  my hair while I blog. We are getting very close this lil critter and I.  he is a Brahma and they are giants in the chicken world. Sometimes growing as tall as 3 ft!!   No, He will not be alowwed to nest in my hair then..LOL

This is me, fishing today with my youngest daughter Owyn. Yes, Owyn. She is named honorably after the most wonderful man God ever made-my grandfather.She is just like him, which according to my mother  so am I , so the name is perfect. She is my mini-me,our lil redneck princess. She played with the worms and cast her own line. She always has to prove she can do it. She is practically fearless. I envy her and her ability to believe she can. Believe ,she can do ANYTHING. FLY, DRIVE a RACECAR, PILOT the SHUTTLE. She can do it. And I BELIEVE one day SHE WILL. So somedays she wears her galloshes everywhere she goes, even when it's sunny (it could rain mom) or she is dressed sorta like a drunk drag queen at the grocery store (don't I look pretty,like a rockstar?) it's okay. I LOVE that she is comfortable with herself.

My babies, not so much babies anymore. Today they not only baited their own hooks but caught, gutted and chopped up smaller fish FOR bait!  All w/o my help, so I stood back and observed and photographed welling with pride and restraining myself from rushing into assist all  at the same time. I am so proud of them, of the young people I have seen blossom from deep inside them since the move to the country. Much more confident and independent.  The last photo is of my eldest Layla. My beautiful, independent,hard headed, creative impetuous teenager. She admits almost everyday now that she is more like me than she thought. Hmmpfff! I don't know if thats good or bad but it's working for us. She is a free spirit and I love that. I wish I had, had the strength to just be myself and not care what my peers thought when I was her age. She's my old soul, my baby. Alot of history there. Thats another blog... Today was a great day. I saw and heard and felt all of the energy around me and I loved it. From the heat of the sun on my skin to the sound of laughter mingled with chirping frogs in the marsh. It was beautiful. We worked hard, we played hard and now we are going to sleep hard. Good night,remember to love each other. Life can be hard, cruel and a straight up bitch. It's how you react to it that determines if it will improve or not. We are still broke, we are still struggling with everyday mundane issues (no TP-WHO is eating the TP for chrissakes?) and we will never be the Brady's. But Today was a beautiful day and we all embraced it, so who knows tmrw we could find a cure for cancer,or maybe just go fishing again...

Still Standing: UPDATES

                                             All is as it should be.
                Thank you Nessa for the accolades on my cooking. I truly enjoy it and I feel like one day I may very well be back in a kitchen (MY kitchen) cooking again full time. Rayna, Sweetie you have your hands FULL right now. I appreciate the offer for help-and I know it was genuine -which makes it all the sweeter.

this is an abandoned house near us,for some reason I LOVE IT.Gives me hope that good foundation can outlast anything.

                                           The truck is STILL in the shop-somewhere around $2000 so far and growing.  it is 1 of the uncontrollables I refuse to think about at the moment. It is what it IS, simply put. The pump is fixed. The land owner came out himself and turned out to be a kindred spirit., a genuinely nice man. He repaired the damage(split wire-thanks to me!) and was happy with what we are doing with property. He agreed we could have 1st dibs if sale comes up and told us to enjoy it like we owned it and we could have all the farm animals we wanted-even HORSES!!! layla BTW is ecstatic as I type at the prospect of having a horse. The kids got their report cards (yes late-again my fault) but got straight A's with AA's in art and science (my fault-lol) and the chickens are all feathering out(getting their adult feathers) and healthy. Ducks are molting and quaking and loving all this rain and even though it has been exasperating for the last 5 days it has been wonderful too. We have learned that if we do not have a vehicle we can still get around, takes a lil bit more finesse in scheduling but it is possible. If we lose our cell phones we will not die (tonite is the last night we have them) and it is ok. I am honestly not stressing it. We barely use them now anyways so-no biggie. We are survivors, this is a tiny lil bump in the road for us. House pymt was made. Insurance is paid,pantry and freezer and fridge and emergency pantry are full to over flowing. We have feed for animals and garden is blooming. We have our health and we have each other. All is as it should be. . .  . .                                                                

Tornados,Clumsy Ducks and...CUPCAKES???

                                C  U  P  C  A  K  E  S ! ! ! ! ! 

These were made by my Daughter Layla. She is 14 1/2 and aspires to be a patisserie chef ( a baker ) specializing in cupcakes.They are by far the very best cupcakes I have ever eaten in 41 yrs. The literally melt on your tongue and have a lightness and fluffiness reminiscent of cotton candy tufts. The are delicately crispy on the tops and buttery soft on the inside. You MUST make them. Make them in DOZENS  and freeze them. Smother them in strawberries or drizzle them with honey or eat them plain and warm. I am so enamored of these delicious little clouds of yumminess that most of my entire  blog tonite is devoted to their promotion.  those are the actual pics of HER cupcakes I posted.                                                                    

MOIST BUTTERY YELLOW CAKE RECIPE:

1 cup (2 stix) unsalted butter

2 cups sugar

4 eggs (room temp)

3 cups sifted self rising flour

1 cup whole milk (room temp)

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

 1/2 tsp butter flavoring (optional)-Layla does NOT use this

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. prepare cupcake liners in 3 cupcake pans. using a mixer cream butter til fluffy. Add sugar and continue to cream butter for about 7 minutes. Add eggs 1 @ a time. beat well after each egg is added. Add flour and milk (alternating) to the cream mixture. beginning and ending with flour.Add vanilla and butter flavoring. mix until JUST MIXED.

Divide batter equally into 3 cupcake pans. if you have extra batter you can bake it seperately in it's own cake pan. bake for 12-15 minutes (depending on your oven). START CHECKING @12 min. cool for 5-10 minutes. Cool completely on wire racks ,then ice (wrap in plastic wrap if not icing right away to keep 'em moist.)

BEST EVA DECADENT CHOCOLATE  BUTTERCREAM  ICING:

1 cup (2 stix) unsalted butter

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

1:1-LB box/bag of 10X powdered sugar

1-3 tsp milk ,Half & half or cream( Layla  uses milk)

4-6 TBSP of cocoa powder

using mixer cream butter and vanilla til smooth. add sugar gradually (1 cup @ a time) allowing sugar & butter to cream together smoothly before adding more. if you want your frosting a little creamier, add a tsp of milk at a time and beat on high until you get the right texture. (layla does this).Add cocoa powder and beat until smooth. use immediately. cover remaining icing with damp towel or store in ziploc baggie .

Okay, I feel better having shared that with the world. You will thank me and LAYLA , I am certain.

This morning I snuggled into Edd like a burrowing animal seeking shelter. I was unusally cold and,was that rain I smelled??  Edd accepted my snuggle and wrapped around me in what can only be described as "the perfect spoon" position. Aaaahhh, cozy, warm screeching? WTF?? Guinneas my mind said, before my eyes and ears could adjust. But wait ,we don't have guinneas... I sat up and opened my eyes and yes, indeed I was hearing the high pitched keening of some very distressed guinneas. This means trouble of some kind ALWAYS. I remind Edd of this and we jump from our comfort zone into actiona dn head for the door. First thing I see is the fact that there are no guinneas in my yard and 2nd the sky is screaming TORNADO!!! if you have ever been thru one you know what I mean. The sky is that surreal,pea soup washed with gray color. Sort of a disembodied crayola color that just spells DOOM. No sooner did the word T O R N A DO fly from my mouth than a gust of wind that literally folded some of our trees in half blew up from seemingly nowhere and nearly knocked the wind OUT of me. At this precise moment the dogs ran for the house, the kids ran TO the front door and I heard a duck in distress. Edd  I ran for hutch and while struggling with the hasp I see a near full sized duck folded in half stuck in an upturned cinder block brick. He is breast down head and tail up feet sticking out behind him in the air and he is FREAKIN OUT! Poor baby, Kieren is suddenly beside me and I yell for him to grab the duck. He shimmies into the tiny opening of the duck gate and tries to pull it out by it's legs but it doesn't budge. Lightening is striking everywhere and the wind is blowing hard and the very first drops of rain have started to fall. Big, FAT, angry drops of rain. pelting and stinging our faces. I yell,"his ass, pull from his ass" and he does. PLOP! out comes duckie,we slam hutch shut and run for the house as the lightening illuminates the tree tops for us. WHEW! all this before 8AM..

We dry off and start to prepare for the rest of the day, breakfast, school and electricians. Yes, the underground wiring was the problem and must be handled by professional. Fine by me. Electricians arrive in the middle of our tornado watch and ensuing thunderstorm(?) and sit patiently int thier truck waiting for a break in the weather. Edd and I strike out for town (storm by 8:45 had quieted considerably) and as Edd opened gate for me, I put truck in gear and...went nowhere. At least not quickly. Tried again, still feels like the hulk is holding my bumper...? Odd, but after Sunday I am taking no chances. Edd got the day off from school and we spent it clearing fallen brush while alternately looking for rental cars, contacting the in-laws in Alaska for a loan(don't get me started) and... baking CUPCAKES.
You see, our lil friend Dawson was at the skate park monday and had himself  nasty little accident and was the lucky recipient of 23 stitches to close his knee back up. ugh..Saw the pictures, yeecchhh.. So our fix-er-upper is cupcakes. With the way the day was going it called for something extra special and Layla pulled out the stops for it too. YOU DID A GREAT JOB BABY GIRL!! Those cupcakes were sinfully good. I will give Dawson his 1/2 dozen tmrw, but we are making 3 dozen to freeze on Thursday.No I will not share with the chickens, who almost always get a lil nibble of whatever I am eating. Not this time. I may even put one under my pillow (for sweet dreams of course). I BBQ'ed chicken and was planning on a comfort food blog w/ pics of juicy leg quarters tonite ,but honestly, those golden handfuls of buttery bliss did more for my attitude than xanax could. Now THAT'S COMFORT FOOD.

ENJOY and SHARE

POWER BOXES AND WATER PUMPS OH MY!!

                                   Okay, so I firmly believe that any day that ends with you learning something is not a total loss, no matter how badly the day may have gone. Having said that let me just say that today was definately "college degree" status.
               Things began calmly and with no real sense of urgency. It was a languid, lazy start that left me in a fuzzy warm spot curled against my hubby  for just a moment longer several times. I like those mornings, no, I LIVE for those mornings. Kids woke up in fair moods-exhausted from a week of non-stop 8 hr skate park madness everyday, but in good spirits.
                         Everyone ate their breakfasts and I packed watrmelon for the boys to take to their last day at the skatepark. it was kinda melancholy, because today was Dawsons last day with us, and we have gotten very attached to him. He's a great kid and an awesome influence on Kieren. He doesn't like TV and he isn't into video games, he prefers the outdoors and physical activity. Kieren is tan, toned and proud of himself. I can see it in the way he walks and in the way he enters a conversation. Much more certain and comfortable with himself. I like it-alot. So, this final morning with my surrogate son I felt a lil pang of sadness. he asked for help with a paper he's writing for school, and my heart sang a little deeper. Tomorrow I hafta take him to the library and get him a card so he can check books out to write his paper-don't let me forget,K?
                              Dropped Edd @ work, boys at park and headed home. Got a response to a post I made asking for wire/wood in trade and picked up a couple nice rolls of wire for chickens (thanks NIkki P.) and drove home feeling good about the work I was about to settle into. You see we do not have a tiller. We do not have alot of the neccessary tools we need out here. So we improvise. For instance todday, I  had wire, but no posts. So I sawed some of the small saplings my husband cut down into 6 foot lengths and made posts for the fence. Layla helped me dig the holes,carefully checking for electrical wiring or PVC pipe from water pump/well. We hit nothing and all 13 posts were successfully sunk. We broke for a water break and cleaned up a bit before beginning to clear the lot. Now again we are very short on tools, so we often go very primal in our thinking. I used a post  hole digger to loosen the top 3 inches of soil while the girls (owyn & layla) pulled up the sod with their hands and seperated it from the dirt clumps before tossing grass aside. We worked like this,me & my GIRLS, toiling in the hot sun, on our hands and knees, diggin in the rich dark soil for over an hour and  half. finally we were done! So very proud of my daughters right then. Yes there was whining and grumblings and Owyn even stopped and looked at me very matter of factly and asked me,          " Mommy what is TORTURE?" HAHAHAHAHA! I explained it and she worked awhile longer, then stopped and said," well -what is this ? " but alas we were done and the much needed ice water we had put in the freezer and the popsicles they were promised beckoned.
                         We rushed to the backyard to rinse of in the hose (okay, and play a little too) but no water? Hmmmm, breaker maybe? I dust off and rush to the switch box only to realize when I get there that the electric is on everywhere else. Hmm again. I check and all seems well. Now understand I fear electricity  like some people fear the REAPER himself. So I  know nothing on this subject I am totally ignorant about it. I call Gia, who refers me to Billy (her hubby) who walks me thru the process of checking breakers(again-but hey, I couldda missed something) and then the pump itself. I exhaust his pretty expansive knowledge of water pumps and at this point I am feeling grimy as hell and I am sunburnt and cranky. My animals need watering and we ALL NEED BATHS. I call WILL. Will is an acquaintance of my hubby's and works in the WATER and WATER ACCESSORIES field. He lives "in town"  and it is Sunday, but he agrees to drive out here to take a look. Thank you WILL!! meanwhile Gia's parents Mr. Curtis and Ms. Kathryn are in the country visiting and she sends them by to assist. Mr. Curtis is a jack of all trades and a fine southern gentleman to boot. I enjoy both their company and look forward to visits Mr. Curtis determines that it is electrical and the pumps isn't recieving any current. Hmmm, yet again. "Did you cut a line perhaps" he asks me. No, we checked very carefully and didn't dig deeply. We even used the water after we were done to get ice water before we turned the lot. Hmmm, strange he says and proceeds to try everything humanly possible to restore my water. I am terrifed but leaning in closely and asking obnoxious questions anyway. I am determined to be as self sufficient as possible and conquering this fear is one of many baby steps to my goal.Mr. Curtis is patient and Ms. Kathryn is enjoying watching the chickens hustle, but he is stumped now and Will just pulled into drive. i know have my own task force on this issue and though I am feeling more than a bit embarassed that i cannot figure this out on my own, I am at the same time very grateful for all these people who are so willing to help me figure it out. no luck with Will either. he does confirm it is electrical, probably in the switch or the "BOX".  Yes, the electrical box. OMG! i almost died. I hate the power boxes. I shudder when I walk by them. I swallom my fear and shelve the natural instict to running screaming in the oposite direction and follow Will to the BOX. he shows me what to do and tellsme what I need and very graciously does not charge me the $175 for his brief visit. THANK YOU WILL! So now armed with new knowledge and feeling a tiny bit less terrified (lie) I head to pick up all the menfolk from town and hit HOME DEPOT. We get the parts for less than $3, deposit Dawson at his own residence (Mom  married shitty BF BTW-poor kid looked devastated when she told him) told him to call anytime if he needed us and headed to home to fix the water pump. OOps! quik stop at grocery to refill 8 gallons of water at PUR machine for $.30 a gal.  Home and Edd & I shut down outside power box and round up flock, feed and water for the night and get to work. Edd who is far braver than I, takes the thing apart like a pro and begins the reassembly only to find out that the electrical dept. guy at HOME DEPOT gave us the WRONG PART! Okay, I am now over it and we are putting it to bed for the night. I inform kids we are showering on the front porch, get ur swimsuits and they stare like I have lost my mind. Owyn, Kieren & Layla all washed with less than 3 gal of cold water. Impressive. used a 1/2 gal on edd and his hair. But not me-heck no, I got major issues with cold water. I would rather stink. However, my hair did need to be washed. I used 3/4 gal to wash my hair-nothing fancy, no rinse and repeat just a wash. It felt so nice, balancing over the side railing, my long hair flipped over my head, the cold water running down my  neck and teasing my collar. Listening to the chickens peep and chirp and the kids inside laughing about it being "soooo cooold". it was nice actually. Kinda glad the water was off. Definately a memory they wont soon forget. I warmed my remaining gallon in microwave and sponge bathed. I might not mind stinking tonite but Edd certainly minded! LOL...
                                          Boiled water for dishes and cleaned kitchen. watered peeps and flushed toilets. Tomorrow it's back to HOME DEPOT for a different part, hopefully it works, if not it's a call to the realtors and a new power box-who knows how long that may take..
        I gotta do it all by myself tomorrow. Yes, I am very scared. But I will do it. And hopefully I will be blogging about my success tomorrow night.. Tonite was alot easier than we expected and didn't really change how we did things all that much. Maybe we couldbe Amish, whatcha think?

WTF?? A.K.A windmills, wankers and watermelons!

                                 WOW! Ever had one of those days where you are certain from the very 1st moment your eyelids begin to let in morning light that it is just not gonna work? Good, so your feelin me then right? Today was that day. The precursor to this nightmare began last night when the battery light came on in the truck on  the way home from "town". Having just spent over $2000 on the engine, I become a bit concerned when lights start blinking urgently at me like a ticking time bomb. I call our friend Billy who says the "A" word is a possibilty (altenator) but could be a loose terminal etc.. and gives us a checklist to go over when we get home. He then offers to drop off bottled water in the Am should the battery require it because I have forgotten for the 11teenth time to get soem in "town". Great guy Billy-Thx Billy. So Edd calls his Mom and asks for a loan for a battery, since we just paid rent and won't have extra $$ for a wk. She says fine and we are off to bed. Did I mention we picked up Molli, the dog Layla walks? We are pet sitting for a wk bcause her owner had surgery. Molli howled and barked all night. ALL FREAKIN NIGHT! wwe even gave her 2 doggie valium and she just kpt right on barking. So by morning the tempo for the day had been set. Not liking Molli much at this point.
                                   Billy arrives with water and once filled and closed we turn on truck only to see that damned light still winking at us like a dirty old man  with a nervous twitch. DAMN! it's gotta be the "A" word then. We resolve ourselves to getting it replaced today and Billy agrees to assist us.Meanwhile flock is enjoying their breakfast of grits and bananas with honey and home made bicuit pieces w/ left over gravy. They are very well fed birds, and very tame too. They eat right out of my hands and sit on my shoulder to take bits from my lips when offered.Long story short it got fixed, Edd got scammed (not billy-someone else who offered to "help-the WANKER in title")I got angry-it got fixed. In the process of all that taking place I find out Layla lied about who was with her at the movies last night (boys!!) and she is grounded until further notice. i saw a fantastic windmill and decided I MUST have one! How great would it be to generate our own power and ellimnate the power company all together?? I also decide if we were gonna go windmill we should have and outdoor shower with a 40 gal tank to heat in the sun for hot water.Edd loved the idea and kids... well they were divided on the idea. OWYN-yay,kieren yay shower/nay electric,layla NAY! I like the idea tho, so topic is still open.

                                  So kids decided to watch Yogi bear tonite. I personally cannot stand talking animal movies, thus why I am blogging while they watch Yogi Bear. I popped popcorn. Drippin in butter and salted it is one my favorite things to eat. It is the perfect snack, the perfect handful the perfect jelly belly! I Sliced some super juicy watermelon and voila! movie night begins.The property is drying out slowly from our freakish storms that disappeared as mystically as they appeared.,leaving behind full drainage ditches for the ducies to swim in and loads of bugs for the flock to  eat.Things are green, very green. My seedlings are growing rapidy and so far the chickens haven't figured out how to get them. Started expanding the hen house with beams for a screened in "run" to one side. like a florida room for chickens. LOL.
                                    I am struggling to keep my eyes focused on the monitor and yet I have to drive into town to get Edd from work,Eeeeeeeew! Cosita just brought me a gift. A half dead toad about the size of a lemon. the perfect ending to a bizarre day. At least I am awake now.

Goodnight ya'll. Sleep well and laugh often.