Today was not the day I had planned-not even close.
See, I planned to get up early and feed the animals and drive to town for more peeps & to drop boys at skatepark. I planned to return home, put lunch in the pressure cooker and relax with Edd doing some yard work til he had to go to work @ which time I would take Layla to her Dr.'s Appt. Pretty typical, nothing exciting-right? NOT how the day went.
I lost another peep, one of the Bantam Cocchin's. A freakish thunderstorm blew thru totally unannounced(thank you Mr. Weather man) and ruined my gazebo.I was a complete A*! to Edd for no reason at all, owyn lost a filling,I missed Layla's follow up appoinment because they called my cell to change the time and as you know we get NO CELL SERVICE. The list just goes on & on & on... Who planned this day? I want THAT job. Ya know what I mean? No , actually I don't. I wouldn't want to be responsible for the pain and aggravation and suffering of EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE. So, we rolled with it.I turned the missed appt. into a grocery trip so the gas wasn't a total loss, I will saw off the legs of the gazebowith the sawsall and make it a shorter gazebo, I have already -hours ago-apologized to Edd and the peep? Well, he became a lesson in the cycle of life and bullying. You see he was killed by his peers. He was knocked down and stepped on and when they noticed he was down they just kept kicking/pecking him. h was too weak to survive.
We were trying to make banana pudding and discuss,"why it is important not to date too young", when Dawson noticed the peep. It was very traumatic, and both boys looked ready to cry. They kept their stoic lil faces on for my sake, I could tell, and that made it even more difficult for me not too. He died and I comforted the kids ,sayin "he wasn't alone and he was warm and loved,thats all we can ask for in our last moments". Isn't it the truth though? in the end, you know you're gonna go, wouldn't it be much nicer to have someone stroking your hair and saying something soothing ? I think so. So this is the comfort I bestowed to the children in their fragile moment of mortality. It seemed to work. They all agreed and off we went to bury him beneath the blackberry bushes,where we are certain any chicken would be happy.
So lesson learned today?
S L O W D O W N
The faster I tried to move, the more I tried to accomplish the further behind I got and the more maddening the day became. It took that poor lil chicks death to slow me down, make me think and rationalize and focus. Sad but neccessary.Had I stopped, accepted my fate for the day and plodded on thru at a greatly reduced intensity would the chicks life been spared? NO. Most certainly not. I would just have been so over it that I would have missed the opportunity to explain something very ,very important to the kids. Life isn't fair.It can be CRUEL, everything dies, and somehow not being alone at that most perfectly solemn moment makes it less cold,less frightening. For everyone involved.
I did see the most stunning sunset this evening just after the rain when the earth is that surreal green thats too bright and deep at the same time to be real. It started slowly, rising up to the tree tops in a lavender mist spreading out and deepening to a color resembling the center of a blood orange and fading into the surrounding woods in oily streaks. Marvelous. That is why we are here. Thats what it said to me. stop, look, listen & learn. So I did. Gonna try again tmorrow morning, each day is new and full of potential, but 6 AM comes very early.
C A R P E D I E M
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