WTF??? oh well...

                   Saturday, July 16th, I got a phone call late in the evening from the Mother of Owyn's BFF "V". Apparently Mom was trying to put together a very last minute B-day party for her daughter and would Owyn PLEASE PLEASE come??? She also apologized for getting arrested the night of Owyn's B-day party (leaving her child in my care almost the entire evening) for drug possesion and paraphenalia...WTF? I agree to let owyn go (little girl shouldn't suffer for her MOM's actions-plus they live with sober grandparents now) hang up the phone to realize.. I will be all alone on Sunday! This particular phenomenon has not happened for well over 4 yrs now so I was stunned stupid for a few minutes at the prospect of having the entire house, junkfood and all -all to myself for over 7 hrs!!  AGAIN WTF?? but hey okay.
                  I dropped Kieren off at Dawsons, Layla off at Alex's and Edd off at work on Sunday. Owyn was literally  vibrating with excitement at this point. She has known "V" since they were 2 yrs old and have been BFF's since. Thats a BIG DEAL when your 7 and have weathered a divorce ,changes of schools, homeschooling and moving to BFE Hastings,Florida. It's suprising they still talk much less pick up where they left off, no matter how long it's been. So, the night before we had decided to make "V"'s gifts because we were broke and you just cannot show up for a B-day party empty handed. After an hour or so we found a website with instructions for recycled paper beads. This very much appealed to us as we are big on recycling everything we can. They are a little bit tedious to make at first but once you find your rythym they are a snap and so BEAUTIFUL!  We rolled and varnished enough for a lovely friendship bracelet and decoupaged a plastic jewelry storage box with tissue paper and glitter(so when you open the lid theres a seperate pattern looking back at you) and filled each of the 12 compartments with a different colorful candy!
So, off to the big candy store downtown with our alloted $5 to purchase candy. This candy store sells candy by the pound out of big wooden barrels and is so reminiscent of my childhood that I think I enjoy it more than the kids do. We had to park about 3 blocks from the store (traffic in our small community gets very thick on weekends) and as we walked and enjoyed the breeze blowing in from the waterfront Owyn began to sing and insisted I join in. There we were, walking hand- in- hand, singing at the top of our lungs,"one way or another, I'm gonna get you- I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha-one way or another.." too funny! the looks we were getting but it felt so right and so normal for us. She stopped to smell some pink hibiscus and I plucked one and put it ion her hair. Now she was definatley party ready. Our candies acquired we sauntered back to the car in much the same way we had left it, laughing and singing and sorted our goods into their compartments and headed to the party.
                       I dropped Owyn off (to our suprise they now lived within 10 minutes of us and the girls could see each other regularly again) and headed home. About a mile from home it hit me: I am ALONE. Wow, WTF? I didn't even know what to do with myself. Briefly I thought about taking a long hot bubble bath and diving headfirst into the hidden stash of little debbies and  even having a glass of wine while running naked thru the house screaming at the top of my lungs,"I'M FREE, I'M FREE!!! heres what really happened.
  I got out of the car, I checked for eggs (found 3) I pet the goat, I unlocked the front door and felt so ... lonely. I walked to my room ,changed into my comfy ,ugly clothes( you know the ones-the ones you MUSt wear when you feel sick or sad or LONELY-your comfort clothes.)  I then began to craft. Yes, craft. and I did so for the next 6 hours. I uninterruptedly crafted like a mad woman. Making recycled paper bowls, and beads and stringing bracelets and cutting up T-shierts for looming rugs, the list goes on and on... I was amazed when my alarm went off to pick everyone up at how much I had getten acomplished-uninterrupted, and I didn't feel lonely at all anymore. It was refreshing. WTF? who knew?
                      Edd and kids home, safe and sound and suprised as well. Guess they all thought I was going to throw a house party or build a marijuana processing plant or who knows... LOL funny kids. They really believe my life with out would have been so exciting and so wild. They make my life exciting and wild and unpredictable. Without them in it I am just the old chicken lady sitting alone in her bed crafting for 7 hours. Thats me. Boring, middle aged me. I like me. She's a nifty, well read, capable chick. I think I'll keep her around and who knows we might get another home alone day to hang out together before the end of this decade!
                     On a serious note, AT&T disconnected my phone yesterday, because some nitwit in billing misread the instructions for my payment arrangement for THURSDAY-not tieadsy and shut it off. WTF?? again, but whatcha gonna do it's 1 day at this point soo... Also had to ask edd's Mother for another loan to get truck outta shop and pay for driving school and my ticket for the accident, that was a kick in the teeth-but can't pay the $900 AND the rent so , we do what we must to survive. Owyn is in VBS at the Baptist church near us and is loving it. She go to perform on stage last night with a microphone and all and is hooked!  I guess we will be attending this Sunday, it's about time for us to find a new church home anyways. People there are nice and unpretentious. Pastor has a good voice so we are gonna give it a try. Owyn has also voiced her desire to return to public school so that she may make friends and socialize and participate in plays and miscals. Considering that we cannot afford to put her in dance or theater this year we are considering her request seriously. Will keep you posted.

                        I have to go milk Fatima and finish another garden bed, I have almost completely recovered from the rains and it is nice seeing my veggies coming back to life in their new raised beds made from recycled wooden pallets we scavenged. posting pics. Have a great day and just keep swimming, swimming....=)

and the beat goes on....

                      So, it has been far too long since my last blog and I must apologize to those of you who read and follow regularly. July has been a busy and frustrating month for me/us and I have honestly been so freakin exhausted that at night I am asleep before I am even in bed.  July 1st myelf and our two daughterswere in a car accident in a neighboring township and the frotofour vehicle was ripped off! We are all ok, but it was my fault and now i must go to traffic school or lose 3 points from my license and rsk a rate hike. Also although we had full coverage and collision we did not have bodily injury liability thus- if anyone in the accident clims an injury from it I am liable to be sued... awesome. That said, we were able to secure a rental for fee(good insurance again) Thank you geico, however the only vehicel avaable on the holiday wknd was a bright yellow VW beetle. I kid you not.o we wentfrom a full size SUV to a hotwheels car overnight and we cannot fit our family into it much less groceries or anything else,so it has been very frustrating.
                     We did finally acquire a pair of goats, first Gomez our buck. He is Dwarf Nigerian white w black spots. he has a great personality and is very friendly,following us like a dog around the yard and preferring to sleep on the front porch by the door. Next we purchased Fatima. She is a Nigerian/pgmy milk goat and though a bit skiddish ,she is very pretty and docile in nature. We have milked her successfully 3 times and gotten nearly a gallon of fresh, home pasturized milk. Edd and built them  pen next to the house on some of the dry land we ave lef after the rains. Rains,yes I said rans -plural. our drought is over and the fires are being put out all over florida and it is fabulous-however it has turned our entire property into a Louisanna BOG. I have lost over 85% of my entire crop for the year and we have standing water oer 3 iches deep over 90% of our 3acres. It is saddening to look out in the back yard at what used to be  my gardes and see only yellwing roted vegetables there now and muck. I have salvaged Edd's precius watermeons and a few eggplants anmy roa tomates re linging to life as we speak but terestis all gone. no point in replanting, the rains come everydy now torerntially for hours. We spent days with nothing but shovels and a post hole digger and a machets,clearing the land and digging trenches to try and drain as much as we coud into the ditch along our property. it has worked for the most pat t keep water out of the front yard, but the chicken coop/henhouse Edd built for me was ruined and had  to be disassembled and rebuilt with modifications on our front fence line. It is now on high ground wih an elevated floor for added protectiona and the Bantams have their own loft with a built in sand box to bathe in. The ducks have been free ranging 24/7 since the rains& have gotten quiet feral. They nest on the septic mound where the grass grows high (reminds them of a marsh I guess) and spend their days swimming about the property in the various  mini ponds" the rain has created.
                   Layla passe drivers ed w/a 97% and is ready to take her learners pemit exam. I am not however and feel she needs a few more months of practice before we take that leap off the mountains ledge. I have been baking like crazy to cut down our expenses. breads, pretzels,monkey bread you name it, and we have been kneading, pounding &  baking it. went out last night to a pear tr Edd and I found a few yrs ago on a business lot in town thats abandoned and got 75 lbs of pears to can and bake with. Not exactly sure 's legal but  we have been doing it ever since we first found it. We jump out of the car like wild things and attack the tree, it must look funny to anyone passing by. It took us less than 5 minutes to pick 75lbs!!
                    Money is getting VERY tight and if I cannot bok work mre steaily we are not going t ake t thru winter with any real success. Having lost the crops before I could get sufficient canning done will impact us hard and our Doe cannot breed for at least 4 months putting her next birthing somewhere around March and then they wouldn't be viable to slaughter til June/July  of 2012. We can always cull our buck if needed -though Edd is rather attached. We have plenty of chickens and eggs, the last group of chicks is finally ready to start laying.  We have a new rooster pen built for Juan and Cortez, Steven just wont stop fighting with them and this last tiime Steven lost a chunk of his wattle to Juan. They will have to sharethe yard on a rotating schedule until they can live together  peacefully or someone is in a stew pot. They are all easily handled so it has not been a problem so far.

Gomez



the goslings



goat pen

rebuild of henhouse in progress



Fatima-our nanny goat

                     We keep our faith in God and each other. I believe this property can be beautiful, and it can sustain us. We have had some set backs and  I wont lie they have knocked the wind out of me at times, but I will not let this land,this homestead beat me. We will survive here as naturally as possible and we will make it work. We will be broke (this is painfully obvious) and we will struggle, but we WILL make it work. I refuse to give up, no matter what-we have committd ourselves to this life and we are going to succeed.  We are beyond tired,on some new plane of exhaustion that I have not hit before. My body hurts in paces I didn't know could hurt like this and still I want more. I want to toil in the sun or the rain and I want to see my vision come to life. I have been teased thus far-given the tiniest of tastes of the potential around me and I will not be denied a full cup of it's rich and intoxicating liquor! I  start breaking down palets today to build raised garden beds to start over. the is a small chance if I am diligent and dutiful in their care I can grow  a small sustainable crop before fall weather hits. So I am off, I will try to update more frequently. attachedare som photos of te recent changes and additions.