Winds of change, they are a blowin...

                                                JUST BREATHE...IN, out,IN,out....


    What a difference 2 weeks can make! Layla absolutely LOVES high school. She has a boyfriend (Trevor) and new friends
 that like her "just the way she is" and she feels confident and comfortable and happy. Yes, I gave her permission to say"yes" to

rosabelle

invitation from Trevor to"go out". I know, I was surprised myself, but she needs this. It is important and vital to her developement
and her ability to cope later on with the woes of relationships both platonic and romantic. So, I put on my big girl panties and
took a deep breath and stepped over the imaginary line into her adolescence. It is scary-almost as much for me as it is for her-
mainly because I do know whats lurking around those hormone laden corners. Breathe, breathe, breathe... that is my new mantra
for this year. But I am so happy to see the bounce in her step and hear the giggle in her voice. It is going to be ok-even if it isn't -it WILL BE.
                  I have 2 new nigerian dairy goats. Rosabelle and Marie-Claire. They have curvy little horns(about 8 inches long!) and the
sweetest personalities too. They immediately went into heat the morning after their arrival and have bred several times now with
Gomez-who couldn't be happier to have his own harem! It has even inspired Fatima (who normally has nothing but contempt for Gomez)
to become a bit more armorous herself. She has bred 2 more times this week as well. Hopefully this means we will have baby goats , or, KIDS,

gomez

by end of December/beginning of January. It also increases our milk production by 2/3's ,which has brought up the subject of cheese making
as a form of sustainable income. We've been using/selling raw and pastuerized organic goats milk and making cheese for awhile now,but with
production preparing to increase tremendously ,coupled with the fact that Nigerians produce the most suitable milk for cheese making
(highest butterfat content of any goats milk) we must now consider making it pay for itself.
                Nigerians are known for "throwing" twins and even triplets, regularly. This means by New years, we could have an additional 6-9 KIDS. Half of
which may be female and able to produce milk within the first year. I'm not looking to get rich or for fame of any kind. I am looking to make my
property and livestock earn their keep.  The chickens are in full production now,as are the guinneas,filling baskets everyday with small to
extra large eggs in shades from light cream to dark chocolate brown and spotted in between. I am selling them as fast as the chickens can drop
'em into the laying boxes. I am getting regular bread orders and Layla and I catered another party last week. I am tattooing pretty steadily of late
and even though the new job didn't work out ( I just couldn't do it any longer-financially or emotionally).  We have 6 garden boxes planted with
 fall/winter crops , and my "emergency" pantry is packed to burtsing. I feel confident we can do this. Sure, there are days where I just want things to
work . To STOP NOT WORKING. But I wouldn't change things at all. I love the tired ache in my muscles and the way I fall asleep the minute my head hits the
pillow. I love the way the house smells when we are baking bread and I love knowing what we ar eputting into our bodies and where it came from.
                   Alot of people think that where we live is THE LAST RESORT, a place where people who couldn't "hack it"  in the real world go to disappear in
shame and humiliation. But thats not the case at all. Where we live is the REWARD for tolerating life in the concrete jungles of "the real world" for so long.
This is where we have CHOSEN to live, we have not been exiled to the country to live organically as a punishment.I have made very good friends here.

chancha

 Tina and Susan for instance. Hard working, devoted, compassionate, driven women. They are CAPABLE. they can and will survive even the zombie apocalypse.
The are women of tremnedous faith. In God, in community, in themselves. I feel honored to know them & be accepted by them. At first glance I can be a little
intimidating, with my facial piercings and tattoos. I know it took a leap of faith for Tina to talk to me and I am so glad she did. I love it here. I see so much potential
for growth, both spiritual and economic. I don't smell the manure, or the pig pen or the horses down the road-I smell freedom.

EASY FETA CHEESE:
from my friend Susan.      2 qts fresh gaots milk (raw is best, pasturized is ok-homogenized is no good)

marie-claire

                                                       1/2 cup white vinegar or juice from 2 lg. lemons
                                                       salt to taste
                                                      candy thermometer
                                                      dbl boiler
                                                      cheese cloth (fine weave) or plain paper coffee filters
                                                     collander/strainer
 place milk into dbl boiler, place candy thermometer into milk(attach to side with clip) bring milk to 180 degrees exactly( while stirring constantly to avoid scorching)
 NOT 1 degree over! do this by turning the heat off under the pan at about 175. when it hits 180 remove from heat completely. immediately stir in salt (1 to 2 tsp) and

fatima

add vinegar or lemon juice.allow it to curdle (about 10 to 20 min)while it's curdling line your strainer with cheese cloth or paper coffee filters. allow it drain completely
 break apart curds and pack into an airtight container with a lid. at this point you can add herbs or fruit or raisins/dates to taste.  Cover and refrigerate for 7 hrs.

Enjoy!




             

taking a second look at things...

                Sometimes, change is NOT good. That is the crux of this blog today. Change and the consequences of said change(s). I r3ecently took employment with an inspection company because A: the hours were good for me and the kids B: the pay was potentially insane good C: I felt our family needed the extra income enough to wwarrant me submerging myself into this job at least to the shoulders. I know find myself in over my head and gasping for breath. It is a feeling I do not particularly care for. owyn cries everymorning as she begs-BEGS me to stay home. She cries every afternoon, from the minute she gets off her bus and sees I am NOT there until she falls asleep crying for me to come home. I am not liking this at all. I miss my  kids, I miss my animals, I miss my home. I have fought every single day with Edd since I got this job. My house looks like hurricane Irene already hit, i have missed important notes from teachers, I have forgotten important items I was supposed to supply for class/snack/gym and I have only slept about 3 hrs a night and I am C. R. A. N. K. Y!
                       Looking back I am thinking this was not my best choice. I have now invested almost as much into the job as I have made and I see it deteriorating before me. I regret to admit this but; this was a MISTAKE. The job itself is fine-even a bit exciting and I really do love it. but home is where I belong. It is where I am me and I am the epicenter of OUR world. I run things, call the shots, micro manage like a demon and keep 3 -hots- and -a -cot running smoothly. I want to work, don't misunderstand. just not externally from my universe as I know it-as I have designed it.  THIS  is where I am needed most,where my skills and talents are best served.  So, I will resign right after I post this and I will beging the search anew for something that is fulfilling and home based that allows me to be the persoon my children and husband know and LOVE and not the irate, screaming,/crying/yelling pyschopath I have been for the last 5 days. I HATE her, who wouldn't?
                                            On a lighter note I believe "Fatty" is pregnant-at least we are hoping so. Gomez is still very much in "love" with her and she has now started to ignore him at the fence line-leaving him mewlong like a lost kitten for her attentions. This is a good sign. Poor Gomez, happy us.All the hens are laying, some not so precisely as their sisters so everyday is Easter again until they are trained. At least we are getting a sloid 2 dozen eggs a day now-more to come from the rest of the polish mutts we bought and the geese and guinneas. Kids are loving public school, and are making loads of new friends and it is nice to hear them chatter endlessly about their days- their voices criss crossing mid conversation like super highways of  babble. it is refreshing, tho i miss them and long for the lazy days we spent together homeschooling and getting closer, i am thrilled at their happiness and comraderie. Growing up is hard, friends do make it easier. So does laughter. Something we have been in short supply of for the last week and a half-so I am off this confounded thing to go laugh with my kids and suprise them at the bus stop. Tonite owyn WILL NOT cry herself to sleep. Tonite she will have her hair brushed and get her bedtime story and fall alseep in THE BIG BED with Mommy. As it should be.

Turn the page...

             Here I sit, in a McDonalds parking lot, thinking over the last few days and trying sort thru the whirlwind of activity and it strikes me how very different this year is going to be from any other. It's a little more than frightening really. The kids are entering public school-Layla in HS no less-, I got a new job today. My first "time clock" job in over 8 yrs. I am dazed, deer in the headlights dazed. So much is changing and evolving so quickly I am almost at a loss for words to describe it.  But here goes...
                              My new job. I am sort of a bottom feeder on this one. i am not really sure how I feel about it. I am not supposed to divulge too much info publicly because of the nature of the job. i do home investigations/inspections on bank repo homes and foreclosure contracts. I know I am not the guy literally taking the house away from them. I am only the appraiser making certain the property is in good condition but somehow I still feel a little grimy, ya know? the pay is excellent how ever and this is why I took it to begin with so I can't bitch too much. Guess I gotta yank up those big girl panties and do what I gotta to make sure the bills get paid. Which brings us to public school.
                               The children all decided to attend public school this year. Not my favorite idea, but one I DID agree to allow them to make should they feel it necessary to enrich their development. So I must honor that promise in good faith under a few conditions. 1: they maintain their grades at the same level as when home schooling 2: they do not become disciplinary problems at school OR home 3: they maintain a healthy mental/physical balance of diet and sleep as well as activities-I.E don't stretch too thin. It has been equally exciting and terrifying getting ready to begin school, which starts in just 4 short days. tomorrow is the "hot dog" social at school so they can meet their peers and tour the school and I will admit I am sad to lose their company at home. Scheduling Layla's guidance counselor appointment almost gave me a panic attack! So much paperwork and rules, and BS regulations! ugh, I wanted to slap someone before we ever met the guidance counselor.This year will be an exercise in patience for me.
                          Edd begins school again also and after this next semester he will have his small engine repair certificate and then I believe he is going to do the welding class. We shall see, he could change his mind, but he really enjoyed welding the few times he got to this year.  Working out the bus routes and times now.He  may come work with me if this job pays off as it promises too.
                            One of my Sussex has a cold and is isolated to keep the other hens from bullying her. Hoping she feels better in the A.M. I have gone over every shred of chicken wellness documents I have access to at least 6 times and cannot find a diagnosis to support anything other than a cold. I am hoping she recovers quickly, in this heat a prolonged illness could be fatal.  Built a run for the Bantams today and of course "Cosmo" immediately started fighting thru the wire with the larger roosters. Now he has a tiny piece missing from his wattle and a bloody beak! He forgets he is 1/4 their size. Classic Napoleon syndrome.
                            I  must sign off for now and pick Edd up from work between training and paperwork and getting school shot records/Dr.'s notes/records I have been away from home over 10 hrs today and I am missing my babies and my farm. I am never truly as happy anywhere else as I am at home. Near my babies, my animals and my gardens. This year will test us all, our faith ,our patience, our strength as a family. I am confident we will pass with flying colors and a few migraines as well no doubt. Good night, sweet dreams.
Evy


                     

BUSY! BUSY! BUSY!

                              So much going on lately and so little time to blog, or shower, or sleep! whew! here goes, try to keep up 'cuz theres alot to blog and so little time to do it. i apologize in advance it gets a little confusing0just loop back around to the beginning and start reading again VERY SLOWLY and it should make sense-then email me and explain it to me =)
                                                  Since last blog, I have  gotten my truck back,good as new for the low low price of $5,000! whoa! but thanks to GEICO I paid only $500. This still put us in a bad bind financially and we were scrambling this last week to pay rent 12 days late. Thankfully we did it! with no help from the in-laws and now we are working on the overdue electric bill. One thing at a time right?  kids have all decided to go to mainstream public school so we are scrambling to get school clothes and supplies and,wow-why are we doing this again? I forget...
                                                  Our little "chancha" the pig is happy and getting fat and our "fatima" the nanny goat is producing much better and i have several regular customers now who say her milk and subsequent cheeses ar edelish! YAYA!! so very happy about that. We bred her last week, hopefully she will take we would like a couple "kids" by Christmas to expand the herd for Spring. All our first string layers are getting on board an dgiving us yummy large brown eggs everyday so I have picked up a couple more fresh egg accounts in town. The city folk just love our "farm fresh"-natural products and are buying them up like crazy. Rabbit poo fertilizer is selling for $2 per 1 gallon baggie. thats not too shabby since they poo that in an hour! LOL.. got 3 new rabbits pure breds, fertilizer bunnies-not meat.
                                                  Edd starts school again soon too so I will be all alone and not sure what to do with myself. I have joined our neighborhood community action group and am now in charge of vendors and entertainment for a huge fundraising concert we are planning for October. I am excited and have already booked an awesome band and several vendors. I hope we are able to raise the funds we need to continue supporting our community. I think I may return to school also or get a part time job in town to take up some tie and earn Christmas Money. I will keep you all posted on this though. I have so much now I don't know how I will manage it.
                                              The Property is coming along nicely, the animals pens are moved to the back-later a privacy fence will hide them from view- and the garden has been successfully moved to the septic mound and is thriving again to my delight. We have grass, lush green healthy grass growing in all the areas we want it to and the flooding has been a minimal issue for a few weeks now . Edd and I are still clearing trees for fences and  planning to continue to do so until we can fence the whole property in.
                                         Took the kids to Itchetuknee springs to tube the river and had a blast for my Birthday! It was  very nice to relax and forget about the farm and bills and stuff for a little while. Admittedly by 8pm though I was a bundle of nerves on the ride home,wondering if everything was fine.It was. We plan to go again to Ginny Springs next time. maybe even camp. Baby steps..LOL.. Internet and home phones have been shut off for about 2 weeks now. I am in a war with AT&T-1 I will inevitably lose but mut fihgt none the less. i suppose sometime later this month I will break down and pay them and re-establish service. For now I blog from the library, or as I am now, from McDonalds. it hasn't been as bad as I first expected-business has been a little more complicated to run but hey, nothing good is ever easy right? At least that's what the people who have internet at home have been saying...
                                          Gotta run, animals need feeding and dinner is beckoning to be cooked and it's a 35 minute drive home. I will blog more as soon as I can and post pictures too. Learning to live in a house that is a constant 82 degrees(instead of my beloved 70),drive the speed limit always, and to shower with MOSTLY cold water(not my fave) has been interesting. not always pleasant or convenient but interesting and educational too. We are slowing down alot, and taking nothing for Granted anymore. Each day is precious, each meal the last, and every second we are together-a GIFT.  I we have been cleaning with only all natural home mad eproducts and house smells great, and looks sparkling clean(until kids wake up that is) bathing with home made soap(when we use it) I know, more on that later-you REALLY don't need it everytime, and brushing you r teeth with home made toothpaste(bye bye crest) also very challenging at first but are now routine and normal for us. Building an outdoor shower and outhouse are in the works for the fall. Will post as we work on them.
Bye ya'll, more later.
Evy
                                             

                        Sorry it has been a little while since my last post but I have been having some computer issues, hopefully they are worked out now. It is August 1st and summer is in full swing-the heat waves, the afternoon thunderstorms, the mosquitos! We finally have our first pig, a beautiful all black female weighing about 50lbs. She has been named "chancha" it means simply, female pig in Costa Rica. We discouraged the kids from giving her a more elaborate name as she most likely will be a Christmas ham and several servings of bacon before long. We finished her new pen today and installed her pool and raised bed. She seems very pleased with her new accomodations and certainly Fatima is, she was not enjoying being chancha's roomie one bit. The goats have also been given new pens. My friend Tina gave us 13 iron hog panels for helping her move a huge pile of them and traded a bit of chicken wire too. We built them identical pens together but seperated by a hog panel "wall", so they can be close with out getting too close. They too seem to be pleased and comfortable with the new housing arrangements and Fatima's appetite has improved immensely and thus her milk production has too. She is showing signs of being in heat and we are debating breeding her . Her gestation will be about 4 months putting her delivery around December. If we are gonna breed her we need to do it now or wait til December ,so she doesn't deliver in sever hot or cold temperatures. The rabbits are also getting frisky but they take less time to carry to term so we will wait itl september to breed them, to ensure their "kits" have milder temperatures to endure and therefore a better chance of survival. Speaking of survival, we have 3 female ducks missing. 3 pekins and a rouen female. I am greatly disturbed by this but alas there is  little I can do. 1 by 1 they began disappearing late last week so last night we rounded up the remaining 5 and penned them up along with the geese. This does not seem to please them one bit as they have enjoyed their free ranging lifestyle with gusto. until I can figure out what happened to the other 3, these 5 will remain in their pen. Like it or not. Chickens are doing well, last of the magnificent 7  (original pullets purchased) are starting to lay-finally. Lost a Java hen 2 days ago-I believe she was eggbound. Not much you can do really.It was sad and a hard loss for me as the Java's were/are my favorites and very difficult to acquire too.
                                            School time! Oh my gosh, the kids (2 of them anyways) will be returning to public school this year. I am beside myself with this decision. Owyn is a very social creature and here tucked away in Gods country she has made no new friends to speak of and is lonely for playdates & musicals and school plays and the hub-bub & hustle of hallways and classrooms. I empathize, I understand, I aquiese. i registered her today. It was hard, I choked back a tear and felt my breath catch in my chest. I will miss our morning routine of flash cards and reading exercises and watching her do math. She is a math whiz. It will be lonely this year. Lyala too is leaving the nest and striking out for public education. She is attending the technical highschool so she can take culinary arts classes at the adjoining college campus. I am proud of her, for following thru and not being scared. She is taking a big step and I know this and even though I want desperately to shelter her and protect her, I have to encouage her and let her go. I have to let her do this, it is integral in her social developement and maturity too. This doesn't mean I have to like it , but I will be supportive and helpful and hopeful and proud. I will step back a bit and give her some room to grow, to develope. Kieren has put his foot down and refuses to give public school a second thought. He is very cozy sleeping late and lazing around all day after and between lessons. he doesn't do well with schedules and regimentation. I am debating sending him against his will, for his own good-but my heart tells me he will decide for himself soon enough, that right now he needs to be home. Only time will tell for sure, so we wait, we pray, we hope.
                               Bills are beginning to pile up, the $500 for the truck premium after the accident took a big bite out of our finances. We are struggling to make ends meet and it looks gloomier than ever. Property pymt will be 10 days late but theres nothing we can do about it. And the internet/cable bill is looming over us like a dark cloud on a sunny day.  For some reason I am not worried about it. It will work out. I have tattoos booked for the last 2 weeks of the month and if we can hold on til then we will buy ourselves 1 more month. Thats all we can ask for: the chance to keep on keeping on.  Life is good. I am surrounded by the people I love most in the world, we have food, we have clothing, we have each other and everything else is just gravy.                                  
                          This fall promises to full of new experiences and suprises and I am eager to feel a chill in the morning air again and see what the future holds for us. Each new day is a new adventure-good or bad, we are learning from it.