Aaaaaahhhh, today it rained. I mean it really rained. Midday Edd and I were working in the tomatoes tying them up and trimming the suckers off the stems, when the thunder began to roll. Hoping (but dismissing a little as well) we continued to work. Then BAM! the heavens opened up and we were soaked in ice cold torrential rain. It was wonderful, hopping around ,yelping,"cold! cold! cold!" as we hurriedly attempted to secure the heavily fruited vines before their weight from the rain could snap them. Edd ran into the gosling pen to move them upstairs into the bantams loft(they were quickly getting flooded-new remodel in store for this wknd) while I double checked the cucumber trellis'. So, there I was standing in the pouring rain,freezing my ass off and thanking God for the blessing of rain and I felt so happy,so peaceful,so ALIVE. I really enjoy working this property with Edd & the kids. As exhausting as it can be, as stressful as it gets ,it's moments like that- that make me truly appreciate it all. I wonder if thats how my grandparents felt growing up in rural Kentucky and Arkansas the children of farmers. Poor, tired and faithful.
I realized right then, that I had in fact become my Grandmother. Not the beautiful young woman with poor domestic skills and amazing hair that married my miltary Grandfather. The elderly, hardened, very domesticated senior citizen of her golden years.The woman who worked 2 jobs to support herslf and her kids while my Grandfather did a lengthy stint in prison (back story later),the woman who could make a satisfying meal out of nothing and grow anything,anywhere. She always had a big comfy bed covered in hand made quilts and she loved to share it. She told the best stories and would brush my long hair for hours,even with her arthritis twisting her once lovely hands.. She was firm,but fair in her judgement, and she knew just how to comfort you when you were feeling blue(baked goods and a judgeless ear) and she made the best coffee (in a percolator no less!). Her house always smelled of lilacs and lavender and was brimming over with FAITH. It was everywhere, in everything you saw or touched or tasted. The firm, unwavering belief that it would be ok, that WE would be ok.
I have always said that failure is not an option. I now know it comes from her. From her indominable strength, her faith in God, in Love,in Family.She lost my Grandfater to cancer after 30+ years of marriage. She swore he was her "One and Only" and they would be together again in heaven. I love that. She never did date or remarry even though she was still quiet young -in her late 50's-when he passed. Those same beliefs I hold true today in my own life. Do I mind that I am more like a 70 year old southern woman than a 40 year old who's married to a 26 year old? No, I love it, and so does Edd.
My big floppy sun hats, my need to put bacon grease in a coffee can by the stove,my fear that there isn't enough sweet tea in the fridge,my love of grits and gravy and all things battered and fried, my unwavering faith in US,in God. I hear her voice sometimes echoed in my own words and it makes me smile. The ones we love, who have truly touched our lives and changed us for the better never really leave us, not even in death. They live on forever IN us, In all we do.
Those were the thoughts running thru my head standing there in the rain and for hours afterwards. I hope she and papaw are as proud of me as I am of them. I love you guys, I miss you, but I feel you all around me. Encouraging me, helping me. Thank you. and Thank God for the rain.
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