Tis the Season...

Divinity fudge
(recipe below)

It that time of year again when we all go so deeply in debt that we spend most (if not ALL) of our income taxes or the better part of the following year paying it off. And for what? Some trinkets and baubles and shiny new things that we don't really need anyway. What compels us to  so completely lose sight of reality when November 25th rolls around? I for one will not be jumping on the band wagon this year. Our family will be concentrating on the real meaning of Christmas and yes, of course Santa will come and leave a few things for the children but we have asked that he not be too over zealous in his gifting since  their are others in need all over the world and we don't wanna be greedy. This year we are going to break out all my grandma's recipes and and every teensy tiny crafting supply and we are going to give hand made gifts from the heart. Gifts designed just for that special person and loving, painstakingly fashioned  to show how much you really care. below is my Grandmother's Divinity recipe. It is heavenly and melts on your tongue and every time I make it, it reminds me of her and the pain she must have endured whipping that sugar syrup for 20-30 minutes at time by hand with her arthritis , but she never complained . She only made it at Christmas,then I thought this torturous and begged by June for her to make more-she always said ,"no you'll have to wait for Christmastime", and now I know why. It is labor intensive and fickle. The slightest change in humidity can ruin a whole batch and you are left with an ice cream topping at best. But each year as I savor that 1st fluffy nugget of sugary bliss I can see my Grandmother standing at the kitchen counter, testing the first few drops of lava hot syrup in a saucer of cold water to see if it had reached "hard ball" stage yet, knowing the second it did, we were almost there. I can hear her voice telling me exactly what to look for and how to swirl the syrup into the egg whites while rotating the bowl. Stand mixer? electric mixer? P-shaw! she was still using a hand held wisk or antique rotary crank hand mixer back then(making that particular recipe even more daunting) her words guide me even now and though I still get a flat batch occasionally I think she would be pretty proud of todays divinity. I know I am.

INGREDIENTS
2 2/3 cup white sugar
2/3 cup light corn syrup1/2 cup water (minus 1 teaspoon on humid days)
2 egg whites
1 teaspoon vanilla extract ( I use pure madagascar vanilla)
... 2/3 cup chopped walnuts/pecans(optional)
hand mixer and whisk (on stand by)
wax paper
 tupperware (any air tight) container
DIRECTIONS
cook suagr,corn syrup, and water in 2 qt pot over low heat, stirring CONSTANTLY, UNTIL SUGAR IS DISSOLVED. continue to cook without stirring until the mixture reaches 260 degrees F on a candy thermometer or "the hard ball stage".
beat egg whites in a 1 1/2 qt bowl until stiff peaks form, continue to beat egg whites while slowly pouring hot syrup into bowl in a thin stream.add vanilla & beat until mixture hold sit's shape and becomes slightly "dull" or less glossy looking. THIS TAKES A LONG TIME-approx 6-10 minutes. Mixture may become too stiff for electric beater-continue to beat by hand,I use a fork. when mixture stands in peaks when beater is removed fold in nuts gently(optional)
drop from a buttered spoon onto waxed paper. let stand at room temp , turning ONCE until outside of candy is firm-at least 12 hours. store in air tight container.

patience,patience, PATIENCE!

                                                 Hello again, it's been awhile and wow! do I have catching up to do.  the last month has been all about "hurry up & wait", also known as "3 steps forward, 2 steps back" and "robbing Peter to pay Paul". Many good things have happened & a few important lessons have been learned as well, often with a price,but valuable knowledge gained thru suffering is no less valuable-right?  so we managed to hatch our first chick successfully and he is now 3 weeks old and getting his big boy feathers. i say "HE" but honestly we have been able to sex the chick so t's all guesswork at this point. The chick is a bantam cross 1/2 red frizzle, 1/2 blue cocchin, it has fluffy soft feathers that looked slightly permed and his color fades from a golden hue on is back to cream and finally white at the tips of his wings. Each feather of his back and wings is banded and speckled with a blue/black, so that it seems someone flecked a paintbrush at him.He has a deformed foot but manages to hobble along rather well and has been named PIP.Once we lost the remaining 3 dozen eggs, I tweaked the incubator and modified it and we are successfully incubating 10 more. They have been candled to verify live chicks in the eggs and should begin hatching by Wednesday. heres what you need for a cheap, working incubator in your home:
light bulb fixture from and old lamp w/ cord
40 watt lightbulb
 a small to medium styrofoam cooler (cheapo-$2 coolers from drugstore)
a dimmer switch ($2 at walmart, home depot)
a Hergrometer(a device looks like a thermometer but also measure HUMIDITY) you can find these at tractor supply stores, feed stores etc..
sharp knife (for cutting cooler)
glass from a cheap dollar store picture frame
hotglue gun or white elmers glue or wood glue
old newspaper (to line it)
on both ends of the cooler you will need to cut out a small window-approx 4" wide by 3-4 inches tall) place it fairly high up the side so emerging chicks can't ;flop" out.*save these pieces you may need top lug holes occasionally to alter humidity. Also poke 4 holes about 1 inch in diameter in each end for addt'l ventilation. This will give you a limited amount of air flow but it makes all the difference in the developing embryo.

finished incubator"loaded" w/ eggs

next place the glass panel on front of cooler and trace outline with pencil. remove glass, draw a second outline 1 inch inside of 1st outline. this will give you a little lip to glue glass to for viewing window. next you need to use the light bulb socket to trace another hole directly in the center of the lid of the cooler. this is where you will push the socket thru to warm the eggs. shake out all debris from cutting and glue glass pane to front of cooler over cut out. allow to lay flat and dry for at least and hour. check to make sure it is good and dry before you flip it back on it's side. once dry, tape your hergrometer on the back in the center of the cooler where you can easily view it from the "window" you just made. push the light socket thru the top hole and tape securely in place by placing tape on cord-NOT socket.. flip lid and screw in 40 watt bulb. You're almost ready. plug in dimmer switch and attach cord to light socket. test dimmer switch. light should come on and off and switch smoothly between various light gauges. you are ready to assemble and take it for a test drive -so to speak. place a small dish of water, a coffee mug ,a tuna can(cleaned of course) in one corner of the incubator, close lid and raise light inside using dimmer. check temperature frequently until it reaches a sustained temp. your incubator should stay around 98 degrees F-103 degrees F and have a humidity of about 50-55. the larger you water surface the higher your humidity will be. give it a full 24 hrs of testing to get the temp/humidity just right before putting FERTILE EGGS in your incubator. during this test stage I recommend you read everything you can find online or at the library about caring for incubator eggs. there is a lot to know if you plan to successfully hatch baby chicks and ducks instead of creating rotten exploding eggs. NO, the eggs from the grocer are not fertile. You will need to do some research in our area to locate such eggs by ordering online or from a local farmer. draw a circle around the fat end of the egg w/ a marker, this will be the UP side or air sac the chick will need to get it's first vital gulp of air before being born-too much humidity and it will drowned in this pocket from condensation forming a "puddle" there before hatching.write the date on your eggs and any other identifying marks you made need for breed etc. Place eggs in incubator, replace lid and ta-da! You are "growing chickens". turn them every day at least 3 x, it helps to put an X on one side and an O on the other before incubating so you can keep track of which side has been turned. Not turning the egg can result in the chick STICKING to the inner membrane and possibly dying or being deformed because of it. After day 18- stop touching them. I know its hard but ya gotta let 'em rest and finish developing.

pip just hatched(see his shell pieces in the fore ground?)
he still can't stand well and is really wobbly.

Starting on day 21 they should begin hatchinganywhere from day 21-day 23/24 they will begin to "pip" or peck at their shell. you can hear this from across the room sometimes. it can take several minutes to several hours even a day or 2 for 1 single chick to hatch. DON'T HELP THEM! this is all part of natural selection-only the strongest will survive. Take our Pip for example. we weren't even home when he hatched and felt awful that he had a club foot.but, none of the other eggs hatched and 3 weeks later he is going strong! However all his sibling did not survive -just pip. he wanted to badly enough to make it out, dry off and start eating! LOL..

Pip, age 2 weeks already on FB!

Enjoy your incubators!

ROJA LIVES!!!

There is not much more I can say except that,"ROJA LIVES!!" some how, some way she has pulled thru this horrific injury and is on the mend. skin is grafting nicely and she is running around the house bossing the dogs and nipping at Owyn! I am delighted, overjoyed-ECSTATIC!!! We did harvest 4 of her eggs and still plan to incubate them-you never know-we learned a valuable lesson thru this. One we wont soon forget. Skull fracture is on the mend, she will lose the eye but we saved her life. She is another tough nut for sure. Esme survived his ordeal with flock ox and is rowdy as ever. We have internet back, hence why I am posting at 3 am on a school night. I also have another blog, for my business, Stable to Table ,check it out. lemme know what you think k?
                                              Kids all had strep this last week, so I missed a whole week of baking work and tattoos. Too risky with the chance of cross contamination to chance it. Soooo, I took care of kids and much needed farm work and I am glad to be back at the oven and baking again. We have a new piggie "roscoe". He has already been trying to convince chancha to be more affectionate and although she seems responsive, Roscoe is about 3 inches too short! poor thing, he tries and tries , but nothing! I haven't decide how to handle this yet, I 'll let you know as soon as I come up with something. we had a stray dog hanging around on the road in front of our house for a couple days-different stray. this one is a big dog, shepherd mix. I got a couple solid shots with the pellet gun and he hasn't been back. I hope I don't have to kill it, but I will. I wont risk losing another beloved pet, or valuable livestock out of tender heartedness.

                        it's late and I am dozing while blogging, I will blog more frequently now that we are back online.

good night all,
Evy
                         

Hmmm....

     Interesting week , things are moving quickly and not at all. Makes me feel like I am trapped
 inside a giant bubble under water-just floating, waiting for "it"-whatever "it" may be. I feel
something moving in the air around me-like something moving towards me, us.  Good or bad I can't
 tell yet, but I don't feel afraid just anxious. Kids are enjoying public school, making friends and socializing.
Their grades so far are meeting my expectations and their sleep patterns are leveling out too. I have picked
up a few more bread/pastry orders and another milk order. Need to get the new girls milking soon, Poor
Fatima is getting tired..LOL .
                Checking out another Milking nanny this afternoon I think,  We have firmly decided to put our efforts
 100% into the dairy/cheese business. Edd has also mentioned he may want to go back to school for veterinary
medicine (after diagnosing and treating the goats with me this week) which I think is awesome. His Birth FAther
in Costa Rica is a Vet too. Neat huh? Speaking of treating the goats, I learned to trim hooves this week. I think  I
did a pretty good job and i only got knicked once. Fati kicked while I was trimming her rear hoof and the shears
jabbed 2 of my fingers. Thankfully not serious but hurt like hell.
                The last of the chickens is recovering from "chicken pox" ,Flock pox is the technical term for it. They
 were supposed o be immunized when we purchased them, obviously they weren't. The little buttercup
roosters got it the worst. Esme developed a case of "wet pox"-it got into his mouth and throat-making it
difficult for him to breathe.  Until Monday eve we were not sure he wopuld make it. I cried and prayed and
felt horrible as I placed him in his tree Sunday for what I was sure was the last time. Layla stood there with me
listening to him gasp and wept. He has survived 2 attacks from other birds as a peep and a juvenile and I just
couldn't bare to lose him now.  Luckily this morning he is sounding better and eating/drinking normally.
                 I made goats milk ricotta last night. Was attempting to make feta, but after my 2nd glass of wine
I missed a step and got ricotta! What a happy accident. It was delicious. Layla took some to school for lunch
with a few slices of salted crust parmesan/rosemary bread that I baked last night as well. I have to go soon
 and bake scones for  a fresh order due today. Weatehr has been very strange today, sunny 1 minute, gusting
winds the next, drizzly rain in between, very strange in deed feels like hurricane weather but theres nothing
brewing close by anywhere. Jr. and his brothers are starting the goat pasture fence this week( a tattoo barter)
and my friend/client Rick is coming on Friday for more tatt work and to start the back deck we bartered for.
Chancha the pic has gained about 50 lbs and is looking healthy and playful. She loves to have her ears and jowls scratched.
Make sher legs go weak.  Gotta go, more later. Have a blessed day.

Winds of change, they are a blowin...

                                                JUST BREATHE...IN, out,IN,out....


    What a difference 2 weeks can make! Layla absolutely LOVES high school. She has a boyfriend (Trevor) and new friends
 that like her "just the way she is" and she feels confident and comfortable and happy. Yes, I gave her permission to say"yes" to

rosabelle

invitation from Trevor to"go out". I know, I was surprised myself, but she needs this. It is important and vital to her developement
and her ability to cope later on with the woes of relationships both platonic and romantic. So, I put on my big girl panties and
took a deep breath and stepped over the imaginary line into her adolescence. It is scary-almost as much for me as it is for her-
mainly because I do know whats lurking around those hormone laden corners. Breathe, breathe, breathe... that is my new mantra
for this year. But I am so happy to see the bounce in her step and hear the giggle in her voice. It is going to be ok-even if it isn't -it WILL BE.
                  I have 2 new nigerian dairy goats. Rosabelle and Marie-Claire. They have curvy little horns(about 8 inches long!) and the
sweetest personalities too. They immediately went into heat the morning after their arrival and have bred several times now with
Gomez-who couldn't be happier to have his own harem! It has even inspired Fatima (who normally has nothing but contempt for Gomez)
to become a bit more armorous herself. She has bred 2 more times this week as well. Hopefully this means we will have baby goats , or, KIDS,

gomez

by end of December/beginning of January. It also increases our milk production by 2/3's ,which has brought up the subject of cheese making
as a form of sustainable income. We've been using/selling raw and pastuerized organic goats milk and making cheese for awhile now,but with
production preparing to increase tremendously ,coupled with the fact that Nigerians produce the most suitable milk for cheese making
(highest butterfat content of any goats milk) we must now consider making it pay for itself.
                Nigerians are known for "throwing" twins and even triplets, regularly. This means by New years, we could have an additional 6-9 KIDS. Half of
which may be female and able to produce milk within the first year. I'm not looking to get rich or for fame of any kind. I am looking to make my
property and livestock earn their keep.  The chickens are in full production now,as are the guinneas,filling baskets everyday with small to
extra large eggs in shades from light cream to dark chocolate brown and spotted in between. I am selling them as fast as the chickens can drop
'em into the laying boxes. I am getting regular bread orders and Layla and I catered another party last week. I am tattooing pretty steadily of late
and even though the new job didn't work out ( I just couldn't do it any longer-financially or emotionally).  We have 6 garden boxes planted with
 fall/winter crops , and my "emergency" pantry is packed to burtsing. I feel confident we can do this. Sure, there are days where I just want things to
work . To STOP NOT WORKING. But I wouldn't change things at all. I love the tired ache in my muscles and the way I fall asleep the minute my head hits the
pillow. I love the way the house smells when we are baking bread and I love knowing what we ar eputting into our bodies and where it came from.
                   Alot of people think that where we live is THE LAST RESORT, a place where people who couldn't "hack it"  in the real world go to disappear in
shame and humiliation. But thats not the case at all. Where we live is the REWARD for tolerating life in the concrete jungles of "the real world" for so long.
This is where we have CHOSEN to live, we have not been exiled to the country to live organically as a punishment.I have made very good friends here.

chancha

 Tina and Susan for instance. Hard working, devoted, compassionate, driven women. They are CAPABLE. they can and will survive even the zombie apocalypse.
The are women of tremnedous faith. In God, in community, in themselves. I feel honored to know them & be accepted by them. At first glance I can be a little
intimidating, with my facial piercings and tattoos. I know it took a leap of faith for Tina to talk to me and I am so glad she did. I love it here. I see so much potential
for growth, both spiritual and economic. I don't smell the manure, or the pig pen or the horses down the road-I smell freedom.

EASY FETA CHEESE:
from my friend Susan.      2 qts fresh gaots milk (raw is best, pasturized is ok-homogenized is no good)

marie-claire

                                                       1/2 cup white vinegar or juice from 2 lg. lemons
                                                       salt to taste
                                                      candy thermometer
                                                      dbl boiler
                                                      cheese cloth (fine weave) or plain paper coffee filters
                                                     collander/strainer
 place milk into dbl boiler, place candy thermometer into milk(attach to side with clip) bring milk to 180 degrees exactly( while stirring constantly to avoid scorching)
 NOT 1 degree over! do this by turning the heat off under the pan at about 175. when it hits 180 remove from heat completely. immediately stir in salt (1 to 2 tsp) and

fatima

add vinegar or lemon juice.allow it to curdle (about 10 to 20 min)while it's curdling line your strainer with cheese cloth or paper coffee filters. allow it drain completely
 break apart curds and pack into an airtight container with a lid. at this point you can add herbs or fruit or raisins/dates to taste.  Cover and refrigerate for 7 hrs.

Enjoy!




             

taking a second look at things...

                Sometimes, change is NOT good. That is the crux of this blog today. Change and the consequences of said change(s). I r3ecently took employment with an inspection company because A: the hours were good for me and the kids B: the pay was potentially insane good C: I felt our family needed the extra income enough to wwarrant me submerging myself into this job at least to the shoulders. I know find myself in over my head and gasping for breath. It is a feeling I do not particularly care for. owyn cries everymorning as she begs-BEGS me to stay home. She cries every afternoon, from the minute she gets off her bus and sees I am NOT there until she falls asleep crying for me to come home. I am not liking this at all. I miss my  kids, I miss my animals, I miss my home. I have fought every single day with Edd since I got this job. My house looks like hurricane Irene already hit, i have missed important notes from teachers, I have forgotten important items I was supposed to supply for class/snack/gym and I have only slept about 3 hrs a night and I am C. R. A. N. K. Y!
                       Looking back I am thinking this was not my best choice. I have now invested almost as much into the job as I have made and I see it deteriorating before me. I regret to admit this but; this was a MISTAKE. The job itself is fine-even a bit exciting and I really do love it. but home is where I belong. It is where I am me and I am the epicenter of OUR world. I run things, call the shots, micro manage like a demon and keep 3 -hots- and -a -cot running smoothly. I want to work, don't misunderstand. just not externally from my universe as I know it-as I have designed it.  THIS  is where I am needed most,where my skills and talents are best served.  So, I will resign right after I post this and I will beging the search anew for something that is fulfilling and home based that allows me to be the persoon my children and husband know and LOVE and not the irate, screaming,/crying/yelling pyschopath I have been for the last 5 days. I HATE her, who wouldn't?
                                            On a lighter note I believe "Fatty" is pregnant-at least we are hoping so. Gomez is still very much in "love" with her and she has now started to ignore him at the fence line-leaving him mewlong like a lost kitten for her attentions. This is a good sign. Poor Gomez, happy us.All the hens are laying, some not so precisely as their sisters so everyday is Easter again until they are trained. At least we are getting a sloid 2 dozen eggs a day now-more to come from the rest of the polish mutts we bought and the geese and guinneas. Kids are loving public school, and are making loads of new friends and it is nice to hear them chatter endlessly about their days- their voices criss crossing mid conversation like super highways of  babble. it is refreshing, tho i miss them and long for the lazy days we spent together homeschooling and getting closer, i am thrilled at their happiness and comraderie. Growing up is hard, friends do make it easier. So does laughter. Something we have been in short supply of for the last week and a half-so I am off this confounded thing to go laugh with my kids and suprise them at the bus stop. Tonite owyn WILL NOT cry herself to sleep. Tonite she will have her hair brushed and get her bedtime story and fall alseep in THE BIG BED with Mommy. As it should be.

Turn the page...

             Here I sit, in a McDonalds parking lot, thinking over the last few days and trying sort thru the whirlwind of activity and it strikes me how very different this year is going to be from any other. It's a little more than frightening really. The kids are entering public school-Layla in HS no less-, I got a new job today. My first "time clock" job in over 8 yrs. I am dazed, deer in the headlights dazed. So much is changing and evolving so quickly I am almost at a loss for words to describe it.  But here goes...
                              My new job. I am sort of a bottom feeder on this one. i am not really sure how I feel about it. I am not supposed to divulge too much info publicly because of the nature of the job. i do home investigations/inspections on bank repo homes and foreclosure contracts. I know I am not the guy literally taking the house away from them. I am only the appraiser making certain the property is in good condition but somehow I still feel a little grimy, ya know? the pay is excellent how ever and this is why I took it to begin with so I can't bitch too much. Guess I gotta yank up those big girl panties and do what I gotta to make sure the bills get paid. Which brings us to public school.
                               The children all decided to attend public school this year. Not my favorite idea, but one I DID agree to allow them to make should they feel it necessary to enrich their development. So I must honor that promise in good faith under a few conditions. 1: they maintain their grades at the same level as when home schooling 2: they do not become disciplinary problems at school OR home 3: they maintain a healthy mental/physical balance of diet and sleep as well as activities-I.E don't stretch too thin. It has been equally exciting and terrifying getting ready to begin school, which starts in just 4 short days. tomorrow is the "hot dog" social at school so they can meet their peers and tour the school and I will admit I am sad to lose their company at home. Scheduling Layla's guidance counselor appointment almost gave me a panic attack! So much paperwork and rules, and BS regulations! ugh, I wanted to slap someone before we ever met the guidance counselor.This year will be an exercise in patience for me.
                          Edd begins school again also and after this next semester he will have his small engine repair certificate and then I believe he is going to do the welding class. We shall see, he could change his mind, but he really enjoyed welding the few times he got to this year.  Working out the bus routes and times now.He  may come work with me if this job pays off as it promises too.
                            One of my Sussex has a cold and is isolated to keep the other hens from bullying her. Hoping she feels better in the A.M. I have gone over every shred of chicken wellness documents I have access to at least 6 times and cannot find a diagnosis to support anything other than a cold. I am hoping she recovers quickly, in this heat a prolonged illness could be fatal.  Built a run for the Bantams today and of course "Cosmo" immediately started fighting thru the wire with the larger roosters. Now he has a tiny piece missing from his wattle and a bloody beak! He forgets he is 1/4 their size. Classic Napoleon syndrome.
                            I  must sign off for now and pick Edd up from work between training and paperwork and getting school shot records/Dr.'s notes/records I have been away from home over 10 hrs today and I am missing my babies and my farm. I am never truly as happy anywhere else as I am at home. Near my babies, my animals and my gardens. This year will test us all, our faith ,our patience, our strength as a family. I am confident we will pass with flying colors and a few migraines as well no doubt. Good night, sweet dreams.
Evy


                     

BUSY! BUSY! BUSY!

                              So much going on lately and so little time to blog, or shower, or sleep! whew! here goes, try to keep up 'cuz theres alot to blog and so little time to do it. i apologize in advance it gets a little confusing0just loop back around to the beginning and start reading again VERY SLOWLY and it should make sense-then email me and explain it to me =)
                                                  Since last blog, I have  gotten my truck back,good as new for the low low price of $5,000! whoa! but thanks to GEICO I paid only $500. This still put us in a bad bind financially and we were scrambling this last week to pay rent 12 days late. Thankfully we did it! with no help from the in-laws and now we are working on the overdue electric bill. One thing at a time right?  kids have all decided to go to mainstream public school so we are scrambling to get school clothes and supplies and,wow-why are we doing this again? I forget...
                                                  Our little "chancha" the pig is happy and getting fat and our "fatima" the nanny goat is producing much better and i have several regular customers now who say her milk and subsequent cheeses ar edelish! YAYA!! so very happy about that. We bred her last week, hopefully she will take we would like a couple "kids" by Christmas to expand the herd for Spring. All our first string layers are getting on board an dgiving us yummy large brown eggs everyday so I have picked up a couple more fresh egg accounts in town. The city folk just love our "farm fresh"-natural products and are buying them up like crazy. Rabbit poo fertilizer is selling for $2 per 1 gallon baggie. thats not too shabby since they poo that in an hour! LOL.. got 3 new rabbits pure breds, fertilizer bunnies-not meat.
                                                  Edd starts school again soon too so I will be all alone and not sure what to do with myself. I have joined our neighborhood community action group and am now in charge of vendors and entertainment for a huge fundraising concert we are planning for October. I am excited and have already booked an awesome band and several vendors. I hope we are able to raise the funds we need to continue supporting our community. I think I may return to school also or get a part time job in town to take up some tie and earn Christmas Money. I will keep you all posted on this though. I have so much now I don't know how I will manage it.
                                              The Property is coming along nicely, the animals pens are moved to the back-later a privacy fence will hide them from view- and the garden has been successfully moved to the septic mound and is thriving again to my delight. We have grass, lush green healthy grass growing in all the areas we want it to and the flooding has been a minimal issue for a few weeks now . Edd and I are still clearing trees for fences and  planning to continue to do so until we can fence the whole property in.
                                         Took the kids to Itchetuknee springs to tube the river and had a blast for my Birthday! It was  very nice to relax and forget about the farm and bills and stuff for a little while. Admittedly by 8pm though I was a bundle of nerves on the ride home,wondering if everything was fine.It was. We plan to go again to Ginny Springs next time. maybe even camp. Baby steps..LOL.. Internet and home phones have been shut off for about 2 weeks now. I am in a war with AT&T-1 I will inevitably lose but mut fihgt none the less. i suppose sometime later this month I will break down and pay them and re-establish service. For now I blog from the library, or as I am now, from McDonalds. it hasn't been as bad as I first expected-business has been a little more complicated to run but hey, nothing good is ever easy right? At least that's what the people who have internet at home have been saying...
                                          Gotta run, animals need feeding and dinner is beckoning to be cooked and it's a 35 minute drive home. I will blog more as soon as I can and post pictures too. Learning to live in a house that is a constant 82 degrees(instead of my beloved 70),drive the speed limit always, and to shower with MOSTLY cold water(not my fave) has been interesting. not always pleasant or convenient but interesting and educational too. We are slowing down alot, and taking nothing for Granted anymore. Each day is precious, each meal the last, and every second we are together-a GIFT.  I we have been cleaning with only all natural home mad eproducts and house smells great, and looks sparkling clean(until kids wake up that is) bathing with home made soap(when we use it) I know, more on that later-you REALLY don't need it everytime, and brushing you r teeth with home made toothpaste(bye bye crest) also very challenging at first but are now routine and normal for us. Building an outdoor shower and outhouse are in the works for the fall. Will post as we work on them.
Bye ya'll, more later.
Evy
                                             

                        Sorry it has been a little while since my last post but I have been having some computer issues, hopefully they are worked out now. It is August 1st and summer is in full swing-the heat waves, the afternoon thunderstorms, the mosquitos! We finally have our first pig, a beautiful all black female weighing about 50lbs. She has been named "chancha" it means simply, female pig in Costa Rica. We discouraged the kids from giving her a more elaborate name as she most likely will be a Christmas ham and several servings of bacon before long. We finished her new pen today and installed her pool and raised bed. She seems very pleased with her new accomodations and certainly Fatima is, she was not enjoying being chancha's roomie one bit. The goats have also been given new pens. My friend Tina gave us 13 iron hog panels for helping her move a huge pile of them and traded a bit of chicken wire too. We built them identical pens together but seperated by a hog panel "wall", so they can be close with out getting too close. They too seem to be pleased and comfortable with the new housing arrangements and Fatima's appetite has improved immensely and thus her milk production has too. She is showing signs of being in heat and we are debating breeding her . Her gestation will be about 4 months putting her delivery around December. If we are gonna breed her we need to do it now or wait til December ,so she doesn't deliver in sever hot or cold temperatures. The rabbits are also getting frisky but they take less time to carry to term so we will wait itl september to breed them, to ensure their "kits" have milder temperatures to endure and therefore a better chance of survival. Speaking of survival, we have 3 female ducks missing. 3 pekins and a rouen female. I am greatly disturbed by this but alas there is  little I can do. 1 by 1 they began disappearing late last week so last night we rounded up the remaining 5 and penned them up along with the geese. This does not seem to please them one bit as they have enjoyed their free ranging lifestyle with gusto. until I can figure out what happened to the other 3, these 5 will remain in their pen. Like it or not. Chickens are doing well, last of the magnificent 7  (original pullets purchased) are starting to lay-finally. Lost a Java hen 2 days ago-I believe she was eggbound. Not much you can do really.It was sad and a hard loss for me as the Java's were/are my favorites and very difficult to acquire too.
                                            School time! Oh my gosh, the kids (2 of them anyways) will be returning to public school this year. I am beside myself with this decision. Owyn is a very social creature and here tucked away in Gods country she has made no new friends to speak of and is lonely for playdates & musicals and school plays and the hub-bub & hustle of hallways and classrooms. I empathize, I understand, I aquiese. i registered her today. It was hard, I choked back a tear and felt my breath catch in my chest. I will miss our morning routine of flash cards and reading exercises and watching her do math. She is a math whiz. It will be lonely this year. Lyala too is leaving the nest and striking out for public education. She is attending the technical highschool so she can take culinary arts classes at the adjoining college campus. I am proud of her, for following thru and not being scared. She is taking a big step and I know this and even though I want desperately to shelter her and protect her, I have to encouage her and let her go. I have to let her do this, it is integral in her social developement and maturity too. This doesn't mean I have to like it , but I will be supportive and helpful and hopeful and proud. I will step back a bit and give her some room to grow, to develope. Kieren has put his foot down and refuses to give public school a second thought. He is very cozy sleeping late and lazing around all day after and between lessons. he doesn't do well with schedules and regimentation. I am debating sending him against his will, for his own good-but my heart tells me he will decide for himself soon enough, that right now he needs to be home. Only time will tell for sure, so we wait, we pray, we hope.
                               Bills are beginning to pile up, the $500 for the truck premium after the accident took a big bite out of our finances. We are struggling to make ends meet and it looks gloomier than ever. Property pymt will be 10 days late but theres nothing we can do about it. And the internet/cable bill is looming over us like a dark cloud on a sunny day.  For some reason I am not worried about it. It will work out. I have tattoos booked for the last 2 weeks of the month and if we can hold on til then we will buy ourselves 1 more month. Thats all we can ask for: the chance to keep on keeping on.  Life is good. I am surrounded by the people I love most in the world, we have food, we have clothing, we have each other and everything else is just gravy.                                  
                          This fall promises to full of new experiences and suprises and I am eager to feel a chill in the morning air again and see what the future holds for us. Each new day is a new adventure-good or bad, we are learning from it.

WTF??? oh well...

                   Saturday, July 16th, I got a phone call late in the evening from the Mother of Owyn's BFF "V". Apparently Mom was trying to put together a very last minute B-day party for her daughter and would Owyn PLEASE PLEASE come??? She also apologized for getting arrested the night of Owyn's B-day party (leaving her child in my care almost the entire evening) for drug possesion and paraphenalia...WTF? I agree to let owyn go (little girl shouldn't suffer for her MOM's actions-plus they live with sober grandparents now) hang up the phone to realize.. I will be all alone on Sunday! This particular phenomenon has not happened for well over 4 yrs now so I was stunned stupid for a few minutes at the prospect of having the entire house, junkfood and all -all to myself for over 7 hrs!!  AGAIN WTF?? but hey okay.
                  I dropped Kieren off at Dawsons, Layla off at Alex's and Edd off at work on Sunday. Owyn was literally  vibrating with excitement at this point. She has known "V" since they were 2 yrs old and have been BFF's since. Thats a BIG DEAL when your 7 and have weathered a divorce ,changes of schools, homeschooling and moving to BFE Hastings,Florida. It's suprising they still talk much less pick up where they left off, no matter how long it's been. So, the night before we had decided to make "V"'s gifts because we were broke and you just cannot show up for a B-day party empty handed. After an hour or so we found a website with instructions for recycled paper beads. This very much appealed to us as we are big on recycling everything we can. They are a little bit tedious to make at first but once you find your rythym they are a snap and so BEAUTIFUL!  We rolled and varnished enough for a lovely friendship bracelet and decoupaged a plastic jewelry storage box with tissue paper and glitter(so when you open the lid theres a seperate pattern looking back at you) and filled each of the 12 compartments with a different colorful candy!
So, off to the big candy store downtown with our alloted $5 to purchase candy. This candy store sells candy by the pound out of big wooden barrels and is so reminiscent of my childhood that I think I enjoy it more than the kids do. We had to park about 3 blocks from the store (traffic in our small community gets very thick on weekends) and as we walked and enjoyed the breeze blowing in from the waterfront Owyn began to sing and insisted I join in. There we were, walking hand- in- hand, singing at the top of our lungs,"one way or another, I'm gonna get you- I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha-one way or another.." too funny! the looks we were getting but it felt so right and so normal for us. She stopped to smell some pink hibiscus and I plucked one and put it ion her hair. Now she was definatley party ready. Our candies acquired we sauntered back to the car in much the same way we had left it, laughing and singing and sorted our goods into their compartments and headed to the party.
                       I dropped Owyn off (to our suprise they now lived within 10 minutes of us and the girls could see each other regularly again) and headed home. About a mile from home it hit me: I am ALONE. Wow, WTF? I didn't even know what to do with myself. Briefly I thought about taking a long hot bubble bath and diving headfirst into the hidden stash of little debbies and  even having a glass of wine while running naked thru the house screaming at the top of my lungs,"I'M FREE, I'M FREE!!! heres what really happened.
  I got out of the car, I checked for eggs (found 3) I pet the goat, I unlocked the front door and felt so ... lonely. I walked to my room ,changed into my comfy ,ugly clothes( you know the ones-the ones you MUSt wear when you feel sick or sad or LONELY-your comfort clothes.)  I then began to craft. Yes, craft. and I did so for the next 6 hours. I uninterruptedly crafted like a mad woman. Making recycled paper bowls, and beads and stringing bracelets and cutting up T-shierts for looming rugs, the list goes on and on... I was amazed when my alarm went off to pick everyone up at how much I had getten acomplished-uninterrupted, and I didn't feel lonely at all anymore. It was refreshing. WTF? who knew?
                      Edd and kids home, safe and sound and suprised as well. Guess they all thought I was going to throw a house party or build a marijuana processing plant or who knows... LOL funny kids. They really believe my life with out would have been so exciting and so wild. They make my life exciting and wild and unpredictable. Without them in it I am just the old chicken lady sitting alone in her bed crafting for 7 hours. Thats me. Boring, middle aged me. I like me. She's a nifty, well read, capable chick. I think I'll keep her around and who knows we might get another home alone day to hang out together before the end of this decade!
                     On a serious note, AT&T disconnected my phone yesterday, because some nitwit in billing misread the instructions for my payment arrangement for THURSDAY-not tieadsy and shut it off. WTF?? again, but whatcha gonna do it's 1 day at this point soo... Also had to ask edd's Mother for another loan to get truck outta shop and pay for driving school and my ticket for the accident, that was a kick in the teeth-but can't pay the $900 AND the rent so , we do what we must to survive. Owyn is in VBS at the Baptist church near us and is loving it. She go to perform on stage last night with a microphone and all and is hooked!  I guess we will be attending this Sunday, it's about time for us to find a new church home anyways. People there are nice and unpretentious. Pastor has a good voice so we are gonna give it a try. Owyn has also voiced her desire to return to public school so that she may make friends and socialize and participate in plays and miscals. Considering that we cannot afford to put her in dance or theater this year we are considering her request seriously. Will keep you posted.

                        I have to go milk Fatima and finish another garden bed, I have almost completely recovered from the rains and it is nice seeing my veggies coming back to life in their new raised beds made from recycled wooden pallets we scavenged. posting pics. Have a great day and just keep swimming, swimming....=)

and the beat goes on....

                      So, it has been far too long since my last blog and I must apologize to those of you who read and follow regularly. July has been a busy and frustrating month for me/us and I have honestly been so freakin exhausted that at night I am asleep before I am even in bed.  July 1st myelf and our two daughterswere in a car accident in a neighboring township and the frotofour vehicle was ripped off! We are all ok, but it was my fault and now i must go to traffic school or lose 3 points from my license and rsk a rate hike. Also although we had full coverage and collision we did not have bodily injury liability thus- if anyone in the accident clims an injury from it I am liable to be sued... awesome. That said, we were able to secure a rental for fee(good insurance again) Thank you geico, however the only vehicel avaable on the holiday wknd was a bright yellow VW beetle. I kid you not.o we wentfrom a full size SUV to a hotwheels car overnight and we cannot fit our family into it much less groceries or anything else,so it has been very frustrating.
                     We did finally acquire a pair of goats, first Gomez our buck. He is Dwarf Nigerian white w black spots. he has a great personality and is very friendly,following us like a dog around the yard and preferring to sleep on the front porch by the door. Next we purchased Fatima. She is a Nigerian/pgmy milk goat and though a bit skiddish ,she is very pretty and docile in nature. We have milked her successfully 3 times and gotten nearly a gallon of fresh, home pasturized milk. Edd and built them  pen next to the house on some of the dry land we ave lef after the rains. Rains,yes I said rans -plural. our drought is over and the fires are being put out all over florida and it is fabulous-however it has turned our entire property into a Louisanna BOG. I have lost over 85% of my entire crop for the year and we have standing water oer 3 iches deep over 90% of our 3acres. It is saddening to look out in the back yard at what used to be  my gardes and see only yellwing roted vegetables there now and muck. I have salvaged Edd's precius watermeons and a few eggplants anmy roa tomates re linging to life as we speak but terestis all gone. no point in replanting, the rains come everydy now torerntially for hours. We spent days with nothing but shovels and a post hole digger and a machets,clearing the land and digging trenches to try and drain as much as we coud into the ditch along our property. it has worked for the most pat t keep water out of the front yard, but the chicken coop/henhouse Edd built for me was ruined and had  to be disassembled and rebuilt with modifications on our front fence line. It is now on high ground wih an elevated floor for added protectiona and the Bantams have their own loft with a built in sand box to bathe in. The ducks have been free ranging 24/7 since the rains& have gotten quiet feral. They nest on the septic mound where the grass grows high (reminds them of a marsh I guess) and spend their days swimming about the property in the various  mini ponds" the rain has created.
                   Layla passe drivers ed w/a 97% and is ready to take her learners pemit exam. I am not however and feel she needs a few more months of practice before we take that leap off the mountains ledge. I have been baking like crazy to cut down our expenses. breads, pretzels,monkey bread you name it, and we have been kneading, pounding &  baking it. went out last night to a pear tr Edd and I found a few yrs ago on a business lot in town thats abandoned and got 75 lbs of pears to can and bake with. Not exactly sure 's legal but  we have been doing it ever since we first found it. We jump out of the car like wild things and attack the tree, it must look funny to anyone passing by. It took us less than 5 minutes to pick 75lbs!!
                    Money is getting VERY tight and if I cannot bok work mre steaily we are not going t ake t thru winter with any real success. Having lost the crops before I could get sufficient canning done will impact us hard and our Doe cannot breed for at least 4 months putting her next birthing somewhere around March and then they wouldn't be viable to slaughter til June/July  of 2012. We can always cull our buck if needed -though Edd is rather attached. We have plenty of chickens and eggs, the last group of chicks is finally ready to start laying.  We have a new rooster pen built for Juan and Cortez, Steven just wont stop fighting with them and this last tiime Steven lost a chunk of his wattle to Juan. They will have to sharethe yard on a rotating schedule until they can live together  peacefully or someone is in a stew pot. They are all easily handled so it has not been a problem so far.

Gomez



the goslings



goat pen

rebuild of henhouse in progress



Fatima-our nanny goat

                     We keep our faith in God and each other. I believe this property can be beautiful, and it can sustain us. We have had some set backs and  I wont lie they have knocked the wind out of me at times, but I will not let this land,this homestead beat me. We will survive here as naturally as possible and we will make it work. We will be broke (this is painfully obvious) and we will struggle, but we WILL make it work. I refuse to give up, no matter what-we have committd ourselves to this life and we are going to succeed.  We are beyond tired,on some new plane of exhaustion that I have not hit before. My body hurts in paces I didn't know could hurt like this and still I want more. I want to toil in the sun or the rain and I want to see my vision come to life. I have been teased thus far-given the tiniest of tastes of the potential around me and I will not be denied a full cup of it's rich and intoxicating liquor! I  start breaking down palets today to build raised garden beds to start over. the is a small chance if I am diligent and dutiful in their care I can grow  a small sustainable crop before fall weather hits. So I am off, I will try to update more frequently. attachedare som photos of te recent changes and additions.

All in a days work...

                             Yesterday was filled with  wins and losses. We woke up to the cable being disconnected due to non payment. Oh, people please! We have all had something disconnected at some time or another and if you are among the fortunate few who have not-good for you! It doesn't phase me anymore-it's just part of life, the juggling ,the bartering ,the sacrifice. So, you know what you do on a hot, muggy day in the country with no cable and a minute of free time? You breed chickens. Thats right we(all of us-kids included) spent the better part of an hour introducing Roja & Negra to the rooster flock in a most intimate manner. We watched not because we are twisted poultry voyeurs(although I will admit it can be interesting to watch the rituals and rebuttals) but to ensure the safety of my 2 best layers. Roosters can get very aggressive and I don't want my girls hurt. All went well except that the new Golden Laced Wyandotte roo is a little shy and was not able to "seal the deal" so to speak with either. We shall try again today-maybe its performance anxiety.
                               Our well pump that went out again on Sunday, was repaired-needed to switch breakers over-and yes, I did get shocked this time. Those of you following KNOW how much I hate dealing with electricity for that very reason. I survived and I only twitch on the left side ,so all is good-LOL.  Our sweet lil D'Artagnan (a black polish biddie) that followed the goslings around like their mascott died today. It was quiet sad really. Owyn stepped into the duck pond to assist a gosling  and stepped on something furry she yelped. Edd fished around in the mury water and found the chick. Drowned and water logged. Best that we can figure is that he was riding on the goslings back (his fave past time) while they swam and fell off. Chickens are not swimmers-not at all, so he must have drowned. We buried him and all felt the loss while Owyn said a little prayer for him. She's tender that way.
                                         Edd and I got the yard all raked and pens cleaned together before 9 am and spent the day harvesting from the garden and replanting and weeding. It was so nice working next to him. In my head-in th elittle fantasy I keep there- I imagine us working a pioneer homestead up in the mountains somewhere. Me in m y long sirts and bonnet long hair braided and falling over my shoulders. edd shirt sleeves rolled up and suspendered-looking rugged and handsome. You get the idea. Thats how I want it to be. I truly want to just shut us off from everyone and everything and just build our own little universe right here. We decided that the money from his pell check for school ABSOLUTELY has to go into the farm. We need a new coop, the existing one is in too low an area and not meeting our needs for the hens well being. They feed us , we HAVE to give them the very best life possible. It's only right to respect them for their gift to us. Also we have to purchase and house the goats I made incredible deals for. There will be 3 of them, 2 does and a buck. So, I am drawing up the blueprints now and searching for salvageable materials.
                                    I have made purchase plans for 2 laying hens-Speckled sussex and a sussex cockerel. All three for only $30. This is a wonderful progression for the laying stock. Speckeld sussex are very prolific layers and produce some of the tastiest meat available in yard fowl. I should be picking them up by Thursday. I am very excited.  Other than the 3 days of rain literally flooding most of the property and forcing a premature harvest of some corn and tomatoes to save the plants themselves it has been a regular week. I will post more as it happens. I am working on canning tomatoes this week and fried some delish green tomaotes yesterday to go with our bear meat stew. YUMMY!

Today is my GROSS day.

                                                        Okay, today is my Gross day.It's been awhile since I had one so I guess I am a little over due,but in keeping with the nature of the day it came with no warning and the nasties just keep coming. So, my day began by wakng up a little later than usual-which was startling to begin with- at 8am and as soon as I stood up from the bed I stepped in a nice cold puddle of dog pee. Not taking the hint and oblivious to the signs all around me I meander blindly out into the yard to begin my chores. And promptly stepped in a warm puddle of chicken diarrhea. YAAY ME! I rinsed my foot off and grumbling proceedd to feed and water eveything and began my garden rituals. Weeding seemed withut incident until I shoved my right hand in the middle of a fire ant mound. Now you may say,"thats not gross" but then you obviously have never had to deal with millions (ok dozens) of pussy hard lttle blisters that itch insnesly enough to make you clawoff your flesh while sleping-resulting in a oozey, nasty, inflamed open wound. Grossed out now? thought so. I immediately rinsed off my hand ,peed on it and the mound(yes, I am very adept at urinating from a standing position W/O a penis- it's tricky but do-able) and counted the red welts. AWESOME! seeing where the day was going I decided to count my blessings and water the front ,no more weeding today, and head indoors. I detached the spray nozzle and walked to the front gardena and reattached it there. Turned on the water and.. nothing? Hmm, I wondered and unscreed it and tried the hose again. Worked fine. reattached nozzle and got a dribble only ,so I did the guy thing and banged it on something. C'mon we all know it fixes everything k? but it didn't so I adjustd the spray from cone to jet and still only a dribble. After doing this and alternately pointing it in my face and staring at it while swearing, I half hoped it woud spray me ad cool me off. This total lack of good sense resulted in the next catastrophe of the morning. By the 4th or 5th time I had shaken it and banged it and ajusted the spray nozzle and turned on/.off the water I could feel the pressure building an began to see a fine mist escaping with th "dribble" I had been getting ll along. convinced it probably had a dirt glog that needed to dislodge, I looked into the nozzle pressed the handle down and flooded the hose with water pressure and BLAP! SQUISH! SPLOT! a dense wet gooey pray erupted-yes erupted !- like Mt.Vesuveus all over my face. FROG GUTS!! yes, people I said FROG GUTS. It had been glogged alright but with the living(or previously living) body of a small green tree frog that was now properly strained thru my hose nozzle sprayer onto my face!! ugh. After gagging and unscrewing the nozzle to get water to wash my face, I picked the remains of the frog loose w/ my hands(tried sticks and a brush for tile and  nothing was working-EEEEWW) and re-screwed nozzle and called it a day. Once inside my cat (Jack) puked on my foot (thank you JACK), and my son and daughter (kieren & owyn) just came runing into my room tattling on someone (they couldn't decide who started it) for putting boogers in their hair. Aaaah, my gross day just gets better and better. It' only 1 pm and I can't wait to see what else I get  do today.

Mmmmmm, fresh baked bread!

home made artisan "no knead" bread-only had a 1/2 loaf to photograph
the children fell on it instantly.



1 of my fave sandwiches for breakfast, for lunch, for anytime!
artisan bread, tomatoes,onions and fresh parmesan
 or mozzarella w/mayo & italian herbs.



                       Yesterday we baked bread.           Theres no real words to describe the way a home smells when theres fresh bread in the oven. It's almost magical. It conjures images of childhood and treasured holidays.It makes your mouth water and your stomach grumble. The sight of a crusty loaf exiting the oven will almost drive my kids into a feral feeding frenzy. They gather 'round, nudging and sniffing and ooh-ing and aah-ing until the fresh butter gets slathered on a still warm piece and doled out to eager hands. We have to make 2 loaves at a time because the first is almost always devoured within an hour and I know we will want more for later on. This recipe yields 1- one pound loaf, that is suitable for sandwiches, garlic bread, jams & jellies and eating plain or buttered. It has a springy moist center and a light golden crunchy crust & requires little effort from you to create.I am also including the recipe for Onion Jam. I know it sounds odd and maybe even gross to some, but give it a chance. If you like the flavor of carmelized onions on your steak or onions on anything  you will LOVE this recipe. It goes wonderfully on the artisan bread (which BTW I used to pay $4.69 per loaf for) as well. Use the jam anywhere you would use a spoonful of carmelized onions or on crackers with cream cheese as a party horsdevour. I made some yesterday and it is very pretty and would make a nice gift in a bread basket for any occasion.

                                                             ARTISAN NO KNEAD BREAD:

                  3 cups all purpose or bread flour

                  1/4 tsp active dry yeast (u can find it in the baked goods isle at grocers)

                  1 1/2 tsp salt

                  1 1/2 cups warm water (tap warm is fine)

                  5 qt heavy bottom DUTCH OVEN W/ LID-enamel, cast iron, ceramic or stoneware

NIGHT BEFORE: combine all the ingredients in a large bowl and mix well. The dough will look a little rough and ragged (wont be sticky or stuck together -may seem a lil dry and fall apart).Cover the bowl w/ plastic wrap and let it ferment in a warm,draft free spot (pantry cabinet etc.) for 14-20 hrs*** I usually do it for 20 and have no problems. set a timer and enjoy the next 20 hrs.

NEXT DAY: The dough will have grown in size,it will looked pock marked and smell very yeasty and appear wet. gently ease it out of the bowl onto a lightly floured surface. Wit your hands FOLD the dough onto itself a couple of time untilit resembles a ball shape (it will have a "seam" on the bottom -that is fine). place a lint free kitchen towel over it and let it rest for 15 minutes. place a second lint free towel on the counter and dust lightly with cornmeal(regular yellow is fine) ,flour or wheat bran. place th ball of dough seam side down onto the towel and cover with 1st towel again. Allow it to rise on counter for 2 hours. After 1 1/2 hours (30 minutes before bread is done rising)  place heavy bottom dutch oven in oven (w/o lid) and pre-heat the oven to 450 degrees for last  30 minutes of rising time.carefully remove the dutch oven and sprinkle  bottom with a large pinch of cornmeal/flour/wheat bran. pick up your dough with the towel it is resting on and plop it into the dutch oven. it will be a little mishapen -use a towel to grip handles of dutch oven and shake a little to settle.  COVER with lid and bake on center of oven rack for 30 on the outside. remove from pot to cooling rack. Remove lid and bake an additional 15-30 minutes until bread looks golden brown and crispy  on the outside. remove from pot to cooling rack and let cool 15 minutes before slicing. makes a 1 lb loaf.

                                                                   ONION JAM: 

                   2 cups peeled,quartered and thinly sliced small red onions

                   1 cup peeled,quartered and thinly sliced small spanish or brown onions

                   1 1/2 cups apple juice

                   3/4 cups red wine vinegar

                   1/2 tsp rubbed ground sage

                   1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper

                   4 1/2 cups granulated sugar

                   1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar

                   1/2 tsp unsalted butter

                   1(3 oz pkg) liquid pectin :LIQUID not powder

In an 8 qt stainless steel pan, combine all ingredients except pectin. over medium low heat, stirring constantly, heat the mixture until the sugars are completely dissolved. Increase the heat to medium and bring the mixture to a boil. Boil and stir for 5 minutes.

Increase the heat to medium high and bring the mixture to a full rolling boil. stirring constantly. Stir in the entire contents of the pectin pkg. Return mixture to a full rolling boil stirring constantly for 2 minutes. REMOVE pan from the heat. To prevent the jam from seperating in the jars and looking very unappetizing allow the jam to cool for about 5 minutes before filling your canning jars. Gently stir the jam every minute or so to distribute the fruit evenly. ladle the hot jam into the hot canning jars(follow sterilization instructions for water bath canning) and clean threads with damop clean cloth. Cover with lidas and screw rings into place. Process half pint jars for 10minutes in a 200 degree water bath. Pint jars for 15 minutes. **follow canning instructions for water bath canning-all utensils will be HOT use CAUTION WHEN HANDLING!! **water bath canners can be found inWal-mart for $18.95 complete w/ rack. look for them on the same isle where the food storage items are found (tupperware/rubbermaid etc..)

I hope that you enjoy these recipes as much as we do. I will be posting more canning recipes this week as I try them myself . Success or fail I'll share them with you.





Canning, Preserving & Preparing

                                 So this last week I bought my first quart size canner. It is a water bath canner. There are 2 different types of canning, "water bath" and "pressure canning". Water bath is self exlanatory in that  canned and sealed jars are essentially "bathed" in extrememly hot water to create an airtight seal and heat thru food products thoroughly enough to kill any microbial bacteria that could rear it's ugly head in your pantry a month or so down the road. This method is used mainly for jams,jellies and high acidic foods like tomatoes,pickles and citrus fruits.Then there is pressure canning which involves submerging the sealed jars into a pressure cooker to vacuum seal them during the heating process  using intense pressure , to prevent spoiling. This is the preferred method for canning veggies like beans,potatoes,carrots etc. that have very low acidity.
                       This is my first time canning as an adult ,without my Grandma or my Auntie by my side to guide me. I am driven by the memories of myself and my cousins sitting under her porch in the middle of a sweltering Arkansas summer,sharing a jar of crisp pickles, or sweet blackberry jam or tender seasoned pole beans pilfered from the pantry. What a treat those stolen moments were for our tastebuds,I have never eaten anything since that made me feel that way. So this summer, I am embarking on a mission to can my own, on my own. To do my Grandmother proud. I am canning pickled Okra from the heirloom garden this week and also some of my home made salsa. I have bushels of cucumbers on the vine so pickles-kosher dill-will be next. Feeling confident, I plan to preserve bell peppers and hot peppers both in Olive oil as well  as Egg plant.          
                     I may be in over my head but I went to the local library today and checked out everything they had on canning and food preservation.I also acquired a book called," COUNTRY WISDOM & KNOW HOW: everything you need to know to live off the land"  this book is invaluable to anyone wanting to make a go of living this way,whether you have prior experience or not. I feel prepared and I am excited. I want to share that under-the-porch-stolen-treats feeling with my kids.I want them to pop open the top on a pretty 'lil jar of strawberry jam and remember the sweet taste of summertime as they tuck their robes around them to ward of the winter chill. I want to put a little sunshine on their tongues with fresh salsa they helped to grow and water and weed. Somehow that just makes it taste real.  So this week I will chronicle at some point my misadventures in canning,pectin nightmares and poor seal dilemmas,complete with pictures and recipes too.
                    Rained again today, Praise God. All of Florida and Georgia are on fire and desperately need it.I let the goslings out this morning for about an hour and they followed me like little lap dogs, all around the property. Squonking and eating fresh green grass tips.They are the prettiest little creatures, their eyes are almost human, their mannerisms so expressive.I was able to negotiate a very good price for a trio of pure bred Nubian dairy goats. Now to get the money for them. I will pray and keep my eyes open for opportunity. Thats how it works. We are preparing for a day when we can be self sufficient, we may HAVE to be. The goats will provide us with much needed dairy products, including butter, cheese, cream and milk. They double their value as a source of meat in hard times too. I have switched all the cleaning products over to "green products", concocted in the kitchen. Counters/mirrors/surfaces :1 part water & 1 part white vinegar. put in a spray bottle and shake to mix. Vinegar kills over 80% of all germs and the odor dissoles during evaporation. Has been working nicely.Soft scrub mixture: 1 part baking soda, 1 part liquid dish soap. mix in a liquid soap bottle or ha jar with lid. Will make a gentle ,gritty paste. Rub onto any surface you would normally use soft scrub on(sinks, ceramic stovetops, faucets etc..) let sit for a couple minutes and wash off.Also works great-ADDED BONUS: SOFT HANDS!! trying a recipe for home made deodorant this week, will keep you posted.

RAIN!!! Blessed Rain!!!

                               Aaaaaahhhh, today it rained. I mean it really rained. Midday Edd and I were working in the tomatoes tying them up and trimming the suckers off the stems, when the thunder began to roll. Hoping (but dismissing a little as well) we continued to work. Then BAM! the heavens opened up and we were soaked in ice cold torrential rain. It was wonderful, hopping around ,yelping,"cold! cold! cold!" as we hurriedly attempted to secure the heavily fruited vines before their weight from the rain could snap them. Edd ran into the gosling pen to move them upstairs into the bantams loft(they were quickly getting flooded-new remodel in store for this wknd) while I double checked the cucumber trellis'. So, there I was standing in the pouring rain,freezing my ass off and thanking God for the blessing of rain and I felt so happy,so peaceful,so ALIVE. I really enjoy working this property with Edd & the kids. As exhausting as it can be, as stressful as it gets ,it's moments like that- that make me truly appreciate it all. I wonder if thats how my grandparents felt growing up in rural Kentucky and Arkansas the children of farmers. Poor, tired and faithful.
                            I realized right then, that I had in fact become my Grandmother. Not the beautiful young woman with poor domestic skills and amazing hair that married my miltary Grandfather. The elderly, hardened, very domesticated senior citizen of her golden years.The woman who worked 2 jobs to support herslf and her kids while my Grandfather did a lengthy stint in  prison (back story later),the woman who could make a satisfying meal out of nothing and grow anything,anywhere. She always had a big comfy bed covered in hand made quilts and she loved to share it. She told the best stories and would brush my long hair for hours,even with her arthritis twisting her once lovely hands.. She was firm,but fair in her judgement, and she knew just how to comfort you when you were feeling blue(baked goods and a judgeless ear) and she made the best coffee (in a percolator no less!). Her house always smelled of lilacs and lavender and was brimming over with FAITH. It was everywhere, in everything you saw or touched or tasted. The firm, unwavering belief that it would be ok, that WE would be ok.
                          I have always said that failure is not an option. I now know it comes from her. From her indominable strength, her faith in God, in Love,in Family.She lost my Grandfater to cancer after 30+ years of marriage. She swore he was her "One and Only" and they would be together again in heaven. I love that. She never did date or remarry even though she was still quiet young -in her late 50's-when he passed.  Those same beliefs I hold true today in my own life. Do I mind that I am more like a 70 year old southern woman than a 40 year old who's married to a 26 year old? No, I love it, and so does Edd.
My big floppy sun hats, my need to put bacon grease in a coffee can by the stove,my fear that there isn't enough sweet tea in the fridge,my love of grits and gravy and all things battered and fried, my unwavering faith in US,in God. I hear her voice sometimes echoed in my own words and it makes me smile. The ones we love, who have truly touched our lives and changed us for the better never really leave us, not even in death. They live on forever IN us, In all we do. 
                            Those were the thoughts running thru my head standing there in the rain and for hours afterwards. I hope she and papaw are as proud of me as I am of them. I love you guys, I miss you, but I feel you all around me. Encouraging me, helping me. Thank you. and Thank God for the rain.